Dear Sookie Stackhouse: On behalf of the entire female population, we kindly implore you to bottle up that fairy blood running in your veins and sell it to the masses. 'Cause if it's powerful enough to make the ridiculous hotness that is Alexander Skarsgård, Stephen Moyer and Joe Manganiello all fall in love with you and fight for yo ass, we need it. Don't be a selfish little fairy. Run along now.
Yep, believe it or not, it seems that in this Sunday's True Blood finale, the love triangle is apparently back to a full-fledged rhombus, courtesy of Manganiello's Alcide getting back in the Sookie-seeking mix.
So who will win? Team Bill? Team Eric? Or Team...(really?!) Alcide? Here's what we know from the preview and Manganiello himself:
In this sneak peek of Sunday's season-four finale, Alcide makes a pitch for Sookie to "follow her brain" and stop making the same dumb mistakes over and over again. "People don't change," he tells her. "They just find new ways to lie."
See, Debbie is apparently now fully out of the picture, and so it seems Alcide is having a bit of an "Aha!" moment: let his werewolf GF go for good and hook up with the Sookster (a bad nickname, but fun to say, so just let it slide).
Joe himself told us he believes Sookie and Alcide would have already been living happily ever after had she not vanished at the end of last season. "I really believe that if Sookie wouldn't have disappeared he could have built that house for her, for the two of them," Joe insists. "[When she showed up], I think his heart got pulled in that direction. He's a good guy [but] he's also a character where he's had to push down a lot of his impulses—being a werewolf having to hide, not really being able to stand up fully straight and be who he really is, inhabit that power. And this is yet another thing he has [had] to push down. And like a pot boiling, when you push that lid down enough it's going to pop off. And that certainly happens."
In other words...Gaaaaaah! Sookie Stackhouse is officially stealing all of the hot TV men!
So, Trubies, let's just get this settled up front here and now.
If the writers throw a curveball into this Sunday's finale, and end things with a Sookie-Alcide hookup after an entire season of an in-your-face (rarely clothed) Sookie-Eric-Bill love triangle, what exactly are we gonna do? Riot in the streets? Bake big boss Alan Ball a thank-you cake? Submit our reel to be the new Bon Temps girl in town for season five to help Bill and/or Eric pick up the pieces...with some crazy hot rebound sex? (Don't steal that idea, it's mine.)
If Sookie does "follow her brain" and end up with the smart choice...Who exactly is that?
We'll find out what Ball and his (normally genius) team of writers believe when the True Blood finale airs this Sunday at 9 p.m. on HBO.
Anyone gonna watch that? Yeah, didn't think so.