Isn't it crazy how much stuff can happen in just seven days?
This past week, we learned that there are some babies brewing, Twitter feuds not happening and that Marilyn Manson can snag a Barbie look-alike.
If you missed all this exciting news (and lots more), we rounded it all up for you. So put those Saturday morning cartoons on mute and get to reading...
FIREWORKS: Lady Gaga misguidedly dressed like a guy, swore like a sailor and won multiple moon men; Katy Perry won Video of the Year; the fashion was wild; fans got a taste of The Hunger Games; Demi Lovato strutted her silver stuff; and Adele stole the musical portion of the show (Beyoncé's tummy stole the rest) at the record-big, jaw-drop-worthy, 2011 MTV Video Music Awards.
SHOOTING STARS: The oddest-to-date Dancing With the Stars lineup came in—partners, too—and the controversy was hot on its tail, mainly surrounding the addition of Chaz Bono to the cast. Everyone worth listening to—like Lacey Schwimmer and Cher!—defended his inclusion, but there are still plenty of haters out there. Also, DWTS thought about rocking the boat even further and having Carson Kressley be partnered by a guy...The pressure's off of Elisabetta "I'm George 'Funny Face' Clooney's Ex" Canalis in the meantime, however, and we'll judge for ourselves when DWTS premieres Sept. 19 whether she and Maksim Chmerkovskiy's brother Val are really hot for each other.
NEWLYWEDS: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, married for nearly two weeks now (here's the proposal that started it all!), returned from their Italian honeymoon and...went straight back to party work! Kim hit the VMAs, while Kris went to his native Minnesota to pack up for a return to New York. Since the NBA lockout persists, he's got time to join his missus at a bash in their honor and on the red carpet—though he's nowhere near as chatty as Kim and her possible partner in pregnancy Kourtney Kardashian.
SMALL ARMS FIRE: LeAnn Rimes took major offense at a comment made about her weight by Giuliana Rancic on Fashion Police and proceeded to fire back (a lot) at Giuliana's skinny stature. The E! News anchor explained that she certainly didn't mean to start a war and continued to make a case for curves.
VILE FOR THE CAMERA: Heather Morris is the latest Glee star at the center of a photo-shoot controversy, this time an accusation of glamorizing domestic violence.
WTF? Marilyn Manson found the impossible: a date who makes him fade into the background.
REALITY BITES: In the wake of the release of Russell Armstrong's death certificate and the 911 call made when his body was discovered, Bravo decided to proceed as scheduled with the Sept. 5 season premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Which, understandably, has some people concerned.
HOAXED: Tony Danza is fine, but what is wrong with people?
BABY BOOM: Alyssa Milano and hubby David Bugliari welcomed son Milo Thomas...Robert Downey Jr. and wife Susan Downey are expecting their first child together...The Wire's Jim True-Frost and wife Cora welcomed their second child, daughter Phoebe Sylvia Rachel...American Idol alum Jason Castro and wife Mandy welcomed daughter Madeline Emilia...Spice Girl Melanie Brown gave birth to her first daughter with hubby Stephen Belafonte...Dr. Phil gifted with a grandson on his birthday.
WEDDING BELLS: Mega-heiress Petra Ecclestone tied the knot with businessman James Stunt...Sofia Coppola and Thomas Mars made it official in Italy...Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed have set a date...LeAnn Rimes ex-husband, Dean Sheremet, swapped vows with photographer Sarah Silver.
Hookups We've got the inside scoop on Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter's split...Minnie Driver is dating Britney Spears video boy Matt Felker...Miranda Lambert says she knew better than to hook up with a married Blake Shelton, but she did it anyway.
LAW & DISORDER: Joseph Hyungmin Son, Random Task in Austin Powers, convicted in 1990 gang rape...Mel Gibson will be giving Oksana Grigorieva $750,000 and sharing custody of daughter Lucia...Jon Cryer isn't done paying child support...T.I. is halfway home from prison, before going back into federal custody...Hackers have gone Hollywood and are targeting Tom Cruise and Julianne Hough...Barbershop actor Michael Colyar claims he was booted off an airplane because of racial bias, not because he was being an ass...Steven Seagal sued over a dog's death while shooting his Lawman show...Rihanna sues realtor for hooking her up with a money pit...Charlie Sheen doesn't have to keep his mouth shut, judge's orders...Stuntman suing Warner Bros. over serious Hangover Part II injuries...Britney Spears' medical records are not going public...Daryl Hannah was cuffed outside the White House while protesting an oil pipeline...Darrell Hammond suing over car crash...Solange Knowles files a complaint against Miami Beach police...A bus driver is accusing Matthew Fox of getting rough with her...NCIS actor David Dayan Fisher booked for battery.
TV LAND: Ricky Gervais swears he was asked to host the Golden Globes again...The Amazing Race's 19th season is full of winners...Warren Hull of Gymkana got a little too fired up on America's Got Talent...The crazy train is speeding up as Charlie Sheen's roast approaches...Chad Michael Murray will return to One Tree Hill...Stacey Dash sprinted from Single Ladies...Five fall shows Watch With Kristin can't wait for...Glee season three promo is here, plus class photos...Behind the scenes at Grey's Anatomy...James Franco is bloody good on General Hospital...Hot Ringer dish straight from Sarah Michelle Gellar...Ringer now costars Jason Dohring...Ed O'Neill gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...Survivor's Rupert Boneham is considering a run for Indiana governor...Jada Pinkett Smith's HawthoRNe canceled...No more Talking for Holly Robinson Peete...We've got recaps of Toddlers & Tiaras, Teen Mom, Bachelor Pad, True Blood and Jersey Shore...SPOILER ZONE!
SCREEN PLAY: Brad Pitt picked a fallen extra right back up on the set of World War Z...Is The Hunger Games getting ideas from Twilight and Harry Potter?...Jason Sudeikis dishes on A Good Old Fashioned Orgy...Matt Damon talks Contagion and Obama...Henry Cavill's Superman look sees the light...Olivia Munn has joined the stripper movie full of hot guys...Joe Jonas is readying his big-screen acting debut...George Clooney is taking a pass on The Man From U.N.C.L.E....Antonio Banderas is obsessed in the Spanish-language The Skin I Live In...Ryan Reynolds has a serious beef with dad Willem Dafoe in Fireflies in the Garden...Matt Damon's Margaret has finally made it...Check out reviews of The Debt.
MUSICAL NOTES: Kristen Stewart's makes music-video debut in Marcus Foster's "I Was Broken"...Tom Jones feeling good after dehydration scare...Adam Clayton of U2 wasn't feeling Sinéad O'Connor's advances...Sebastian Bach lost his New Jersey home to Hurricane Irene.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Tom Felton and Rupert Grint are on the same side for clothing line Band of Outsiders...Ryan Reynolds and Rosie Huntington-Whitely give U.K. department store Marks & Spencer a hot front...Jessica Simpson has hooked up with Zales to make diamond jewelry...Angelina Jolie opens up in Vanity Fair.
REAL ESTATE: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are shacking up in 1,761 square feet in the Hollywood Hills...Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are moving into $2.85 million digs in Sherman Oaks...Want Cory Monteith's couch?
SCENE: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel pedaling in Toronto...Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio touring Australia...Evan Rachel Wood repping The Ides of March in a precariously buttoned shirt dress at the Venice Film Festival...Tori Spelling's son Liam sporting silver nails on a walk with mom in L.A....Prince Harry bringing smiles to seriously ill children at the WellChild Awards Ceremony in London's Park Lane, sometime after making a literal splash at a Croatian nightclub...Kate Hudson and hardly any baby weight emerging from the pool in the South of France...Sarah Jessica Parker avoiding a full-on liplock in Moscow and running to a woman's aid in London...Alicia Keys' son Egypt going zen on the couch...Jon Voight taking a few of his Jolie-Pitt grandchildren on an outing in London...Gwyneth Paltrow signing copies of her new cookbook at Bookhampton in East Hampton, N.Y....George Clooney treating glam friends like Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood, Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber to a yacht ride during a visit to his home on Lake Como...Mariah Carey walking many dogs...Jessica Alba strolling with Honor, then enjoying date night with hubby Cash Warren at Matsuhisa in West Hollywood...Angelina Jolie dropping £1,300 at French Connection on a shopping outing with Shiloh and Zahara in London...Josh Duhamel in his hometown of Minot, N.D., to help flood victims.