Isn't it crazy how much stuff can happen in just seven days?
This past week, we learned that there are some babies brewing, Twitter feuds not happening and that Marilyn Manson can snag a Barbie look-alike.
If you missed all this exciting news (and lots more), we rounded it all up for you. So put those Saturday morning cartoons on mute and get to reading...
FIREWORKS: Lady Gaga misguidedly dressed like a guy, swore like a sailor and won multiple moon men; Katy Perry won Video of the Year; the fashion was wild; fans got a taste of The Hunger Games; Demi Lovato strutted her silver stuff; and Adele stole the musical portion of the show (Beyoncé's tummy stole the rest) at the record-big, jaw-drop-worthy, 2011 MTV Video Music Awards.
SHOOTING STARS: The oddest-to-date Dancing With the Stars lineup came in—partners, too—and the controversy was hot on its tail, mainly surrounding the addition of Chaz Bono to the cast. Everyone worth listening to—like Lacey Schwimmer and Cher!—defended his inclusion, but there are still plenty of haters out there. Also, DWTS thought about rocking the boat even further and having Carson Kressley be partnered by a guy...The pressure's off of Elisabetta "I'm George 'Funny Face' Clooney's Ex" Canalis in the meantime, however, and we'll judge for ourselves when DWTS premieres Sept. 19 whether she and Maksim Chmerkovskiy's brother Val are really hot for each other.
NEWLYWEDS: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, married for nearly two weeks now (here's the proposal that started it all!), returned from their Italian honeymoon and...went straight back to party work! Kim hit the VMAs, while Kris went to his native Minnesota to pack up for a return to New York. Since the NBA lockout persists, he's got time to join his missus at a bash in their honor and on the red carpet—though he's nowhere near as chatty as Kim and her possible partner in pregnancy Kourtney Kardashian.
SMALL ARMS FIRE: LeAnn Rimes took major offense at a comment made about her weight by Giuliana Rancic on Fashion Police and proceeded to fire back (a lot) at Giuliana's skinny stature. The E! News anchor explained that she certainly didn't mean to start a war and continued to make a case for curves.
VILE FOR THE CAMERA: Heather Morris is the latest Glee star at the center of a photo-shoot controversy, this time an accusation of glamorizing domestic violence.
WTF? Marilyn Manson found the impossible: a date who makes him fade into the background.
REALITY BITES: In the wake of the release of Russell Armstrong's death certificate and the 911 call made when his body was discovered, Bravo decided to proceed as scheduled with the Sept. 5 season premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Which, understandably, has some people concerned.
HOAXED: Tony Danza is fine, but what is wrong with people?
MUSICAL NOTES: Kristen Stewart's makes music-video debut in Marcus Foster's "I Was Broken"...Tom Jones feeling good after dehydration scare...Adam Clayton of U2 wasn't feeling Sinéad O'Connor's advances...Sebastian Bach lost his New Jersey home to Hurricane Irene.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Tom Felton and Rupert Grint are on the same side for clothing line Band of Outsiders...Ryan Reynolds and Rosie Huntington-Whitely give U.K. department store Marks & Spencer a hot front...Jessica Simpson has hooked up with Zales to make diamond jewelry...Angelina Jolie opens up in Vanity Fair.
REAL ESTATE: Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are shacking up in 1,761 square feet in the Hollywood Hills...Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are moving into $2.85 million digs in Sherman Oaks...Want Cory Monteith's couch?
SCENE: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel pedaling in Toronto...Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio touring Australia...Evan Rachel Wood repping The Ides of March in a precariously buttoned shirt dress at the Venice Film Festival...Tori Spelling's son Liam sporting silver nails on a walk with mom in L.A....Prince Harry bringing smiles to seriously ill children at the WellChild Awards Ceremony in London's Park Lane, sometime after making a literal splash at a Croatian nightclub...Kate Hudson and hardly any baby weight emerging from the pool in the South of France...Sarah Jessica Parker avoiding a full-on liplock in Moscow and running to a woman's aid in London...Alicia Keys' son Egypt going zen on the couch...Jon Voight taking a few of his Jolie-Pitt grandchildren on an outing in London...Gwyneth Paltrow signing copies of her new cookbook at Bookhampton in East Hampton, N.Y....George Clooney treating glam friends like Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood, Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber to a yacht ride during a visit to his home on Lake Como...Mariah Carey walking many dogs...Jessica Alba strolling with Honor, then enjoying date night with hubby Cash Warren at Matsuhisa in West Hollywood...Angelina Jolie dropping £1,300 at French Connection on a shopping outing with Shiloh and Zahara in London...Josh Duhamel in his hometown of Minot, N.D., to help flood victims.