Previously on Jersey Shore: Finally, the epic throwdown between Ronnie and Mike was about to go down when MTV decided to end the episode right then and there.
Thankfully, we pick up right where we left off, and here's the ugly violence that ensued…
The Situation's head got rammed right into the wall—by the Situation himself. (Yes, really.) Then Ron and Mike begin to tussle as Vinny, Pauly D, Jenni and Snooki look on with worry and a little bit of disgust. Security soon steps in to end the fight.
After the fight ends, Jenni calls an ambulance to take Mike to the hospital and his main bro Pauly D—who thinks Mike bashed his head into the wall to get away from the drama that is Sammi and Ron's relationship (We've all been there, Mike)—goes with him.
Jenni tries to calm Ron down, which is impossible because Sammi is making everything that has ever happened in the history of the world about her. Now that he's settled down, Ron is regretting what he did and starts to cry at the scene of the crime.
Sweet rational Vinny tells Ron he will help him control his anger while Ron and Sammi decide it's time to have the talk in the smush room.
"I do care about you more than I care about myself," he tells her before admitting he's been calling other girls. That's it! Sammi's done with him for good now while Ron decides it's time for him to leave the house! Call Vinny the Guido Whisperer because he talks Ron down and convinces him to stay.
Mike comes home the next day and shares his diagnosis: "Light concussion with a light sprain. That's not good because for the next couple of days I can't GTL." Oh, the horror! Ron apologizes to Mike and the issue seems settled… until Mike says he won't hesitate to fight Ron next time. Mike then starts walking around the house feeling sorry for himself and cries because he feels so alone.
There must be a rule that the peace can't last long on Jersey Shore because Pauly starts a fight with a random Italian guy at the club, even though Pauly had no idea what he was saying. (Apparently, the guy was saying, "What?" Clearly, them be fightin' words!)
Finally, Ron decides not to bring home a woman because he realizes he wants to prove to Sammi that he's an adult. He buys her flowers and tells her "I'm the a--hole." Romance is still alive! Then Sammi kills the mood by asking if he brought home another girl. He takes back the flowers.
The Ronnie and Sammi Saga: To be continued!