Dear Ted:
First I'd like to say congrats on being off cigarettes, you're an inspiration. I know you can tell us better than anyone, what's the dish on Heather Morris and Naya Rivera? No lesbionic tendencies in their über-close friendship? Is there anything to hate about these two? Love reading you, Ted!
—Gleek
Dear Lip Lock Ladies:
Hardly, doll. Naya is totally into the fellahs. And Heather, too. These ladies leave all of their spit swappin' with the same sex on the boob tube. As for your second Q, it's up to you to decide if dirty deets concerning these two chicks would make you want to rip their hair out. Me? Love ‘em!
Dear Ted:
Was thinking today as I took my afternoon siesta that perhaps Will Smith was the one being sued by the "female" a while back for the STD and that is now what is causing his marital "non"-issues…Could that be possible? Whatever happened to that story—seemed to fall off the face of the earth, which seems very suspect!
—B
Dear Money Talks:
Not suspect at all, B, the STD suspect forked over some serious moolah to keep the sitch under wraps. So very Hollywood, dontcha think? That said, it wasn't Big Willie. Something else is brewing between these two that has nothing to do with pesky crotch critters.
Dear Ted:
OK, the obvious is getting obvious-er. I am looking at your pic of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in "Five Couples Who Fought Breakup Rumors." What is up with Brad and, on a smaller shocking scale, Angelina Jolie? They both are starting to look sick. Especially B.P. What is up?
—T
Dear Fighting Facts:
You say this like it's anything new, babe! These two have been looking less-than-stellar for, like, eons now. And while we are hardly the biggest fans of Brad's usual grizzly chin warmer, we've certainly gotten used to it. It's a high-stress romance, it's bound to take its toll.
Dear Ted:
I bet Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus are super excited about the baby…right? I hope it isn't born to skeletons in the closet—any chance either of them are famous enough for a BV?
—AS
Dear Baby on BV Board:
Nope, they leave all the Vicing up to future Auntie Miley.
Dear Ted:
I just read that The Ringer is one of your top picks for Vicey-goodness behind the scenes this coming season because of Sarah Michelle Gellar. I have to say I'm shocked! I've loved SMG since the first episode of Buffy aired and I guess I've always bought into the wholesome family persona she's been putting out there with Freddie. Are you really telling me that SMG sometimes goes by a different name in your Vice Hall of Fame?
—Fuchs
Dear Vice Slayer:
That's right, doll. Sarah's got a Vice, alright, but that doesn't mean you should toss your Buffy DVDs in the can. I know all about her moniker mania and I still heart her. It's an older Vice, if that helps you sleep better at night.
Dear Ted:
Twilight made millions because it's a chauvinistic sob story. Girls and moms dig it, and they think R.Pattz is sexy. The "marketing plan" was to show his face. The end.
—Digby
Dear Marketing Wizard:
Wonder if The Hunger Games will have the same luck pimpin' Josh Hutcherson's handsome mug. What do you think?