Maci Bookout, have you lost your damn mind?
When the 19-year-old Teen Mom star told her mother she wanted another baby, this was Sharon's perfectly logical response. And it bears repeating:
Have you lost your damn mind?
Because Maci seems to have forgotten how difficult it is to care for an infant, we have a radical suggestion: Watch your own show! (Episodes of 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom are available online, and if you asked nicely MTV might even send you some screeners.)
So what set off Maci's teenage biological clock?
"Bentley goes away half the week, and I'm just sitting there bored," Maci whines. "If I had another baby, I wouldn't be bored."
Orrr…you could do your homework and attend your college classes—instead of dropping half them. Just a thought.
Maci chides her boyfriend—and virtual stepdaddy to her son—Kyle for being "scared" to have a baby of his own. Imagine! The only voice of reason in their household (even Bentley is clamoring "Baby Ky! Baby Ky!") reminds Maci that he doesn't have a job. (Remember? He quit the one he had to join her in Chattanooga—so Maci could focus on her college degree.)
Before killing the crazy talk, scaredy-cat Kyle sensibly asks, "Can we get a puppy first or something?"
If only everyone were as mature and levelheaded as Farrah, whose own puppy was MIA in tonight's episode. (Don't get too attached to Farrah's pooch: Daniel Alvarez, Farrah's recent ex-boyfriend, confirmed to E! News: "The dog that is being shown on air now [Candy] is long gone. She gave it to a neighbor, I believe.")
Maybe Farrah was long gone, too. She dumped her daughter Sophia with her mom Debra while she looked for an apartment in California. While Sophia's grandmother is heartbroken at the thought of the two of them across country, Farrah snaps, "I'm wanting to move! I've put off moving to college for two years now! Will you watch Sophia!" (That wasn't a question.)
"Obviously I'm on top of my stuff and I don't need to be babysat anymore!" That is debatable, and Farrah can't even appreciate the irony that she has used her mother as a full-time babysitter for the two years she's "put off" going to college.
About "college": Farrah insists she wants to earn her bachelor's degree—and then talks to the admissions officer of another community college in L.A. It's OK, Farrah, you don't need to justify your move by claiming scholarly aspirations—we know you are moving to a warmer climate to save money on tanning salons, and that is admirable in itself. Boobs and budgeting, that's the way to provide for your child's future.
Embattled Amber is finally spending some time with her daughter after an inexplicable month apart. Now that her house is "ready"—maybe the princess tunnel was on backorder?—Amber is sharing custody of Leah with big daddy Gary. Which is convenient, because as soon as Leah heads back home (let's face it, the poor girl will never call that princess pad "home"), Amber heads out for a romantic evening. We'd like to think Amber was moving on from her dysfunctional relationship with Gary, but her date is dressed as a waiter and sports a mini soul patch. What can he offer that Gary doesn't have, besides free garlic bread?
Affianced teen stepsiblings Tyler and Catelynn are rolling in garlic bread, thanks to the high school grad's job at Chef Dan's pizza joint. The couple are making enough dough now to go crazy on Christmas presents for their daughter, Carly. Even Butch—still honoring his no-contact order by not seeing his wife April—got into the holiday spirit, buying his granddaughter a toy. (And smartly hiding his mullet so it wouldn't be confused with all the stuffed animals on display.) Although Tyler's mom, Kim, crossed the line by contacting Carly's adoptive parents, it's nice to see all the grandparents finally supporting the kids' decision to have their little ladybug adopted.