Who's this Kim Kardashian person? We hear she got married this weekend.
Seriously though, it's a lot of pressure being the go-to place for Kardashian wedding scoop! But, we managed, bringing you oodles of insider details, exclusive video and more coverage than you would have believed possible for a ceremony that didn't take place at Westminster Abbey.
Plus, all sorts of other crazy celeb stuff happened, so here's your chance to catch up on the other wedding of the year and the rest of the week's biggest stories...
THEY DID: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries got married. Nuff said.
THEY DIDN'T?!: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody's Brenda Song and Miley's brother Trace Cyrus are expecting a baby together. We probably shouldn't say any more. (But here are five other surprise couples to bend your minds around.)
TOGETHA 4-EVA: Will Smith and his wife of almost 14 years, Jada Pinkett Smith, are sticking to their no-separation story. They hammered home their point by siccing lawyers on whoever stirs up trouble and then brunching romantically in Malibu.
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT: The Talk's Sara Gilbert and longtime partner Allison Adler separated (as did these five other lesbian couples at one point). They are planning to share custody of their two children.
STRIKEOUT: Not long after she watched him get his 3,000th hit, Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are no more, ending what seemed to be the all-star shortstop's longest relationship ever. One would assume Jeter ended things, secure in the knowledge that he's just too damn eligible to stay in one relationship forever, but maybe new-fangled Charlie's Angels star Minka did the splitting. Who knows?!
UMMMM: Rihanna? Sex tape? Egads!...Jim Carrey wishes Emma Stone love and contentment...And then Kathy Griffin had to go and wish the same for Justin Bieber...Jennifer Aniston hasn't lost her mind...Blake Lively can afford her own wheels...Russell Armstrong did not blow $60K on his estranged wife's 40th birthday.
CLOSE SHAVE: Kate Winslet and family safely escaped a fire at the Necker Island vacation home of Virgin mogul Richard Branson.
SPLITSVILLE: Christopher Knight is divorcing Adrianne Curry...Sara's sis Melissa Gilbert filed for divorce from Bruce Boxleitner after 16 years...George Michael revealed he split with his longtime partner, Kevin Goss...Real Housewives of Atlanta's Lisa Wu-Hartwell and NFL player hubby Ed Hartwell separated.
OTHER WEDDING BELLS: Chely Wright married girlfriend Lauren Blitzer...Brooke Burke and David Charvet's wedding pic revealed...Big Brother champ Will Kirby is engaged to For Love or Money winner Erin Brodie...Cacee Cobb and Donald Faison are engaged.
BABY TALK: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are expecting baby No. 3...Kimberly Stewart welcoming daughter Delilah, her first (and presumably only) child with former beau Benicio Del Toro...William Petersen and wife Gina Cirone revealing they welcomed twins prematurely on July 5, but their son and daughter should be home soon...Jason Bateman and wife Amanda Anka are expecting daughter No. 2...Queens of the Stone Age frontman Josh Homme welcomed son Orrin Ryder Homme, his second child with wife Brody Dalle.
FARWELLS: Frank Potenza, "Uncle Frank" to Jimmy Kimmel Live fans, died of cancer at 77...Nick Ashford, Motown songwriter who along with wife Valerie Simpson was behind dozens of smooth hits, died of throat cancer at 70...Jerry Leiber, rock-and-roll lyricist and one half of famed songwriting duo Leiber & Stoller, died at 78....Michael Showers, actor with a recurring role on HBO's Treme, drowned in the Missippi River near New Orleans' French Quarter; he was 45...Taylor Armstrong, friends and fellow Real Housewives stars paid their respects at a funeral for Russell Armstrong at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in the Hollywood Hills; his family will be holding a separate service in Texas...Toxicology tests found no illegal drugs in Amy Winehouse's system when she died, but there were traces of alcohol.
LAW & DISORDER: Jaime Pressly gets three years' probation for DUI...LAPD's Major Crimes division is investigating after an envelope containing white powder and a threatening message was mailed to Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson at CBS Studios...Redmond O'Neal was sent back to rehab for a year, not prison for three years...Paris Hilton's ex, Cy Waits, pleading no contest to DUI...Peter Jackson is keeping the West Memphis Three investigation open...Chris Brown's latest probation hearing went almost as smoothly as usual...The Michael Jackson manslaughter jury won't be locked away...John Holmes, ex of Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita, and his wife Jodi are accused of arson and insurance fraud...DMX was in and out of jail again...Joe Francis was picked up on an outstanding warrant.
MUSICAL NOTES: Check out Beyoncé's hot + steamy "1+1" video...Bono denies visiting the hospital for anything but a routine checkup...Demi Lovato dishes on her new album and leaving rehab Unbroken...Justin Bieber was Taylor Swift's special guest at her first of four sold-out nights at L.A.'s Staples Center...The Biebs is also cutting a charity Xmas album...Pitbull hopes to assuage Lindsay Lohan's anger at this weekend's MTV Video Music Awards...Amy Winehouse's Back to Black is a bestseller...Lady Gaga is the most powerful woman in the world, and the most vulgar (in China, at least)...Gavin DeGraw opens up about being assaulted...OK Go and the Muppets make a colorful team...Lil Wayne needed stitches after a skateboarding accident...Linda Perry thinks Katy Perry's a lightweight...Liam Gallagher is suing brother and former Oasis mate Noel Gallagher.
TV LAND: Check out Charlie Sheen's Dr. Strangelove-inspired roast promo...John Slattery has January Jones' back in this odd little Mad Men feud...Survivor: South Pacific's cast includes some familiar names and faces...Chord Overstreet's going to be in The Middle...David Arquette and Chaz Bono are Dancing With the Stars possibilities...Reality TV shall remain a separate beast for now...Kris Jenner will guest host on The Talk and Today...Leah Remini has left The Talk...White Collar renewed for season four...Zachary Quinto was written into American Horror Story, along with Lily Rabe...Does The Sing-Off's new season look good to you?...David Letterman laughs in the face of danger...The winners of The Glee Project spill some love-triangle beans...Real Housewives of New York City production postponed...SPOILER ZONE!
SCREEN PLAY: Hilary Duff's pregnancy means no Bonnie and Clyde remake...Zoe Saldana and Mila Jovovich are resident badasses...The Hunger Games will strut its stuff for the first time at the VMAs Sunday...Megan Fox is just now realizing that Marilyn Monroe led a troubled life, hence the faded tat...Cameron Diaz is super-fit and pregnant in What to Expect When You're Expecting...Robert Pattinson is bedding every damsel in sight in Bel Ami...Anne Hathaway's up for playing Kate Middleton on the big screen...Emma Watson's role in The Perks of Being a Wallflower is apparently a hot one...Johnny Depp goes on a Hunter S. Thompson-tailored trip in The Rum Diary...Here are our reviews of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, Our Idiot Brother and Colombiana.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Reese Witherspoon is the face of European fashion label Lindex...LL Cool J's 16-year-old model daughter, Samaira Smith, is the face of mobile accessory maker Cellairis...Donny and Mark Wahlberg have licensed the "Wahlburger" from a NYC fast food place so that they can apply it to a Boston eatery they plan to open...Mark is also fronting PRVCY menswear...The fruits of Amy Winehouse's collaboration with designer Fred Perry are on sale.
SEEN: Ryan Gosling playing Good Samaritan in the middle of an NYC street...Charlie Sheen enjoying a romantic weekend at the Four Seasons Punta Mita in Mexico with none other than ex-wife Brooke Mueller...Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom double-dating with Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz at Madeo in West Hollywood before ending the night at the Montage in Beverly Hills...Pippa Middleton and her duchess sister strolling along the Irish Sea on Llanddwyn Island, off the coast of Wales...The duchess enjoying date night with hubby Prince William at Cineworld in Llandudno Junction, Wales...Natalie Portman taking her pooch for a walk in NYC...Paris and Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson and more turning out for Charlotte Ronson's Sephora cosmetics launch party at Il Sole in West Hollywood...Alyson Hannigan and daughter Satyana enjoying the amenities at a Malibu playground...Alicia Silverstone sidling up to Paul Rudd at the NYC premiere of his latest, Our Idiot Brother...Ashley Hebert and fiancé J.P. Rosenbaum double-dating with J.P.'s brother and his girlfriend at Zio in Manhattan's Flat Iron district...Leighton Meester all smiles at the launch party for Vera Wang's Lovestruck fragrance at the James Hotel in NYC...Salma Hayek's daughter Valentina sassing the paparazzi while walking with her parents through LAX...Angelina Jolie meeting with the director of HALO Trust in Scotland to discuss landmine removal...Zuma Rossdale dressed in Captain America gear while getting a mani-pedi with his nanny in Studio City.