It's hard to concentrate on anything other than what ABC news is calling The American Event of the Century—Kim Kardashian's wedding, not the new season of Hillbilly Handfishin' (but close). Still, if you can pull yourself away for a minute, enjoy these shining moments from your week's Soup.
One down, four to go. Get a beer.
3. Jake Pavelka The smilin' Jakester may be a professional pilot, but his celebrity career is damn close to augering in. Thanks to that opportunity-destroying bitch Vienna. But don't take our bile for it, let grim Pavelka testify to the damage done.
5. Bachelor Pad: The base, uncontrollable desire for love and money are driving the sexy swingles cohabitating at the Pad to extremes. In fact, Kasey has plans for arch-nemisis Jake. Strange, twisted plans.