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    Afternoon Bitch-Back! True Blood's Team Bill Bares Its Fangs!

    Alexander Skarsgaard, Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

    Dear Ted:
    I agree with Rita, who wrote to you regarding the absolute lack of passion between Alexander Skarsgård and Anna Paquin on True Blood. I love, love, love, the sweet new Eric, and I think Skars plays it wonderfully, but the heat is with Sookie and Bill. I know you agree! You have said so before and that is just one of the reasons why I love you! OK, that wasn't a question...just a comment.
    —Arls

    Dear Sex-Off:
    Here's the deal, doll. Bill and Sook's first time doing the horizontal tango wasn't exactly the steamiest sex sesh we've seen from the tawdry twosome on the series. So give it some time! A.Skars is doing that whole innocent thing right now, so of course the sexin' is going to be a bit tamer. I'm sure we'll see these two really go at it in no time...I do still heart Bill tho, trust.

    Dear Ted:
    If Cindy Crawford were to dump her Gerber baby-daddy, how long would it take George Clooney to ask her to marry him? Need your honest take on this one, and the fact that all Clooney's serious(ish) girlfriends look like Miss Crawford.
    —Rita

    RELATED: True Blood Recap: Bon Temps Full Moon Brings Were-Whatevers and Swamp Sex!

    Dear Clooney Clues:
    How très unclassy to speculate about this married mama, Rita! But just ‘cause I like you I'll 'fess: If she weren't married (which she is, happily enough, for the record), these two could definitely pull it off. I'm not saying the buddies would swap "I do's," but they've got more than just their pretty looks in common.

    Dear Ted:
    Mr. Casablanca, your recent article about Darren Criss is just appalling! With the way that you wrote your article you are making it seem that Darren only does what Daniel Radcliffe does, which in fact is not true! Do you see Dan writing music for a whole musical while starring in one of TV's most loved TV shows? I think not. Darren has been in plenty of other shows that are not on YouTube. So maybe you need to watch your mouth on what you say about Darren and Dan. Because Darren has worked hard to get where he is and is not just clinging to the coat tails of Dan.
    —A. Guthrie

    Dear Criss Crisis:
    Oh, lighten up, babe. Of course he doesn't do everything that D.Rad does, but that doesn't mean he isn't following in a very (very, very, very) similar trajectory. And there's nothing wrong with that, really. We heart Daniel, and we adore Darren too. In fact, he's one of the reasons we keep tuning into Glee. It definitely ain't for the storylines.

    Dear Ted:
    My questions are about Kellan Lutz. I have read and seen some of his interviews recently...and really? I am just not buying any of it. What are your thoughts and has he managed his own B.V. yet?
    —Beck

    Dear Brains or Brawn:
    Way to be vague, B! I'm not exactly sure what you mean. Kellan is kinda doing that whole goofy guy thing he's always done while out promoting his latest flick, Immortals. While you may think his constant chitchat about The Little Mermaid is his biggest problem, I think it's that blond ‘do he's sporting lately. Yuck.

    Dear Ted:
    Every day, my rescue kitty, Little Rain and I settle in to watch The View, and recently, there have been some truly snarky exchanges between the gals. While they all make a point to claim that the arguments onscreen have no effect on how BFF-like they are offscreen, Little Rain and I sense that all is not well between these gabbers. Any tidbits you can share?
    —RainsMom

    Dear Daytime Diva-Fest:
    Of course nothing is as peachy perfect as those broads would want you to think, but that shouldn't be surprising, like, at all. That said, these gals are totally biz-oriented, so the on-camera feuds rarely make their way to the dressing room. Barbara Walters has got bigger things to worry about than whatever conservative crap Elisabeth Hasselbeck is blabbing that day.

    Dear Ted:
    With Robert Pattinson being so specific as to his ideas for upcoming nuptials and Kristen Stewart being able to relate so well to Bella getting married, is there any chance these two hotties are already hubs and wife?
    —Sandra

    Dear Engaged and Underage:
    Yeah there's a chance...in your Twi-hard dreams. Hate to break it to ya (for the millionth time), but these two are most definitely not married.

    PHOTOS: True Blood: Season Four Portrait Gallery!

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