Lindsay Lohan, Shawn Holley

GSI Media

Dear Ted:
Whatever happened with Lindsay Lohan's lawsuit with E-Trade over that "Milkaholic Lindsay"? Did she go through with it? Would you say she is sticking up for herself the way Kim Kardashian is?

Dear All About Moolah:

Puhleaz. LiLo was suing because the commercial used her first name (‘cause, you know, Lindsay's such a rare name) for a milk-addicted little blond-haired baby. She wanted a 100 freakin' mil for her "damages" too. Trust me, Lins, you got your damaged rep all on your own. Supposedly she got some money for it—enough to pay for $1,200 Louboutins maybe, but guess not enough to afford court-ordered therapy.

Dear Ted:
Is it true Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson broke up? I heard he left her for his director's daughter! She's hideous!
—Blue Highlighter

Dear Worried Sick:
Calm down, my little Twi-hard. All is well in Robsten land. They are tight and currently cuddling it up at Comic Con.

Dear Ted:
Is Debbie Doobie known for her famous (or maybe slightly less famous) friends?

Dear Doob's Darlings:
Not really. She's seen hanging with big-name celebs at events, but mostly she rides solo in the celeb scene.

Dear Ted:
Can you write an article called: STFU Twi Haters? They claim to be Twi-hards but they only like two people in the movie, so they're haters in my eyes.
—Lazy Daisy

Dear Headline Grabber:
It's a bit long of a headline, doncha think? No worries though, your humble opinion has now been blasted before every Awful Truth Twi-hard and Twi-hater. You're welcome.

Dear Ted:
Did you have it bad for Alexander Skarsgård before or after his Blind Vice?

Dear Love at First Sight:
Oh before, baby. The moment I set eyes on him.

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