For the past few seasons, we've seen Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester successfully—and not so successfully—try to take down McKinley High and its obnoxious glee club. And as much as we love her cunningly hilarious schemes and countless jabs at Matthew Morrison's curly locks, we have to admit: The charade is getting a bit old.
And since the show is seemingly going to get a complete reboot come season four, why shouldn't America's favorite tracksuit-clad villainess get transformed, as well?
Here's what we're thinking:
Sue Gets Domesticated: Man, woman, we don't care. Just give Sue some action. And you know it's going to take someone really see her insisting to officiate her own wedding and Sue and Mr. Sue can move into the Lima equivalent of Wisteria Lane. Desperate Housewives 2.0? We're thinking, yes! And then, of course, comes the inevitable little pitter-patters of baby Sues! Where can you even get track suit onesies?
She Gets Therapy: Sue goes to the headshrinker, probably because it was court-ordered. And since the typical "talking cure" is probably not an option for Ms. Sylvester, the doc will have to resort to alternative measures. Hypnotherapy, perhaps? Or maybe she finds her center and becomes an expert yogi?
We're picturing some potentially hilarious interchanges between Sue and her therapist. A visit to a white, padded room may be necessary. This is could be the opp for Christopher Walken to appear on the show that Dianna Agron has been waiting for.
Glamorization: We think Sue needs an "it" factor. And we realize that mixing Sue Sylvester and "glam" together seems like oil and water, but we've seen in movies like Another Cinderella Story that Jane can still be the queen of evil while wearing expensive duds. And it wouldn't just stop at her clothes, we're talking about a face lift, ass implants, boob job, the works. Ooh la la.
We know that Lea Michele's Rachel usually gets the big, over-the-top musical numbers, and it's about time Sue got a schnazzy stage solo. Plus, we're sure she'd jump at the chance to use her confetti cannons again.