Maria Shriver, Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Dear Ted:
Has the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal (long-term cheater with secret love-child) made Hollywood wives less likely to suffer in silence and kick the bum out?

Dear Until Humiliation Do You Part:
Interesting connection, but I think it's more like the wives are growing stronger backbones and shorter fuses for effed-up double standards. Regardless, I'm not upset that the ladies of H'wood are taking a stand. More power to ‘em!

Dear Ted:
Who does Kim Kardashian think she's fooling, suing Old Navy? That campaign was months ago and ran for five minutes. Publicity grab, anyone? And she should leave that poor model alone. She's trying to make a living. By the way, I think the model is much prettier.

Dear Kim Twin:
Here at the A.T., we're big fans of everyone sticking up for themselves, and Kim's doing just that. May the best beauty win!

Dear Ted:
Someone suggested a reality show featuring Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden could be in the works. Tell me it's not true! Not that I have much respect for producers to begin with, but would one of them seriously consider rewarding this guy for having a relationship with a minor?

Dear Ew Factor:
The sad reality of reality television is that people would actually watch a show about them. But until that happy day comes, we can still gawk at their beautiful wedding photos.

Dear Ted:
Can you give us clues as to what Olivia Wilde's B.V. is?
—Wilde for Olivia

Dear Hmm:
Nope, not really. You see, I'm just in such a terrible mood ever since Rob did that to his beautiful hair. But suffice it to say, it's not nearly as dirty as that other Olivia, as in Munn.

Dear Ted:
Although Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream are so boring lately I still want to ask one thing about my fave B.V. couple: How's DDD these days? Has he found himself a decent boy after Judas, or does he still hope they'll get back together?

Dear Best For Last:
Oh, hell, Dashed knows his career's going to win in the end, anyway, so I don't thinking he's sweating it that much these days.

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