You'd think with the amount of time certain segments of the population have spent studying shirtless photos of Zac Efron that, at this point, there would be no surprises to be had from gazing at his bare torso.
Wrong! Earlier today, dermatologist Sandra Lee (different lady)—presumably schooled at the University of Too Much Time on Her Hands—rendered the world both shocked and squinty after announcing that, after much consideration of Efron's nekkid torso (ahem), she had come to the conclusion that he had a case of the Mark Wahlbergs.
In other words, a third nipple.
Now, sure, it's not the first time someone has suggested as much—but it is the first time a board certified M.D. has gone on record with a diagnosis. But is it really true? Is that superfluous speck really, as the doc claims, a supernumerary nipple? Make yourself decent, because this rumor is…
So false! Consider this rumor, um, nipped.
Despite Dr. Lee's assertion, Efron's rep denied to E! News that the actor had an extra mammary (which, we're assuming, has to be one of the more surreal statements a publicist can issue about their client).
In the press release Dr. Lee issued on this highly important matter, she noted that third nipples (also known as accessory nipples, pseudomamma, polythelia and polymastia…you're welcome), are "often not entirely developed as a fully functioning nipple. Sometimes it can be mistaken for a mole."
Or, you know, sometimes it can actually be a mole. As appears to be the case for Efron.
So go ahead, nation: it is now safe to exhale.
All of which means that High School Musical fans can once again continue apace with their beliefs that Zac is physically perfect in every way. Not that they needed a doctor to tell them that.