It was a short week, but there was no shortage of news. Fill in all the gaps in your exhausted, morning-after brain right here...
ROYAL FLUSH: William and Catherine, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, who don't want for titles and yet are without a nickname, are in Southern California right this second, bunking at the British consul-general's residence, playing polo and genteely rubbing elbows with celebrities (some of whom will never hold a candle to the effortless grace emitted by their royal highnesses). Kim Kardashian suggested Disneyland, but Paris Hilton advised a visit to the more private Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Wills and Kate capped off their tour of Canada with a gourmet cooking class and a ride through the Freedom of the City ceremony in Quebec, tree-planting in Ottawa, hockey and aboriginal celebrations in Yellowknife, a visit with rescue workers on Slave Lake and the Calgary Stampede in Alberta.
MERRY HARRY POTTER PREMIERE: Following yet another photo call and press conference, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 enjoyed its star-studded red-carpet premiere in London. Plus, hear what Daniel Radcliffe has to say about the end of an era, check out some early reviews, vote for your fave characters.
NOT GUILTY: Casey Anthony being found not guilty of murder, manslaughter and child abuse in the 2008 death of her 2-year-old daughter Caylee sent shockwaves around the country and into the twitterverse, starting at the epicenter known as Nancy Grace. Upon hearing the verdict, the perennial thorn in the side of all who are technically innocent until proven guilty declared that the "devil is dancing" over the news. She later defended her crusade, denying that her intensity had nothing to do with ratings. But no amount of disbelief may stop Casey from raking in plenty of cash in the wake of her ordeal, including a possible $1 million interview with Jerry Springer.
TOP DOGS: Check out all the winners of Watch With Kristin's 2011 Tater Top Awards!
WHAT GOES AROUND...: London tabloid News of the World, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., shut down in the face of mounting allegations that it was in the practice of enlisting people to hack into private mobile phones to gather info. The fact that William and Kate were alleged victims of the shady practice could have had something to do with the sudden decision to close up shop, but personally, we think that the baked-beans-packing Hugh Grant stepping into the fray was enough to scare anybody out of business.
SECRETS: Daniel Radcliffe revealed that he struggled with a drinking problem and now enjoys "not f--king up totally all the time"...Bow Wow unloaded on his personal website, admitting to fathering a daughter (a subject he had previously ducked) and having suicidal thoughts back when he was Lil Bow Wow...Weston Cage is letting is all hang out on Facebook following he and wife Nikki Williams' his-and-hers arrests for alleged domestic violence.
TUNED IN: Artie Lange spent three hours shooting the breeze with comedian pal Nick DiPaolo on Fox Sports Radio, dishing on the Howard Stern Show, his suicide attempt and time in rehab, and his next book.
BABY BOOM: Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied named their first-born son Aleph, which means "first"...Ryan Phillippe was there for the birth of Alexis Knapp's daughter (a bundle of joy named Kai), though he supposedly hasn't taken a DNA test yet to prove his parentage...David Beckham captures his very pregnant wife in a moment of repose...Keri Russell and hubby Shane Deary are expecting child No. 2.
ENGAGEMENT RING: Lady Antebellum's Hillary Scott is raring to tie the knot with drummer Chris Tyrell.
UNHITCHING POST: Patricia Arquette and Thomas Jane are officially divorced. Celebrity Rehab star Kari Ann Peniche could technically go under categories, because this lady is not only divorcing from hubby of four months, Justin Williams, she's also preggo...George Lopez officially single again after divorcing from his wife of 17 years.
LAW & DISORDER: NYPD investigating the shooting death of Nicki Minaj's cousin, Nicholas Telemaque, in Brooklyn... Pete Doherty was released from jail after six weeks instead of six months. Think he's learned his lesson?...Willie Nelson's plea deal for pot possession isn't flying with a Texas judge...Gary Dourdan charged with oxycodone and drug paraphernalia possession...Paris Hilton beefs up home security after one intruder is punished, and another dude fails to abide by his restraining order...Rick Springfield pleads not guilty to DUI...Michael Lohan's battery case dismissed ...Ryan Rottman from Nickelodeon's Gigantic got a gigantic DUI Thursday night...Real Housewive's of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes is not facing legal trouble, but her son, Bryson Bryant was taken to jail after getting caught shoplifting and violating probation...John Legend allegedly stole songs...Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino gets slapped with a $1 million lawsuit by former management company.
TV LAND: Who else thinks that Comedy Central's Charlie Sheen roast, airing opposite Ashton Kutcher's Two and a Half Men debut, sounds like a delicious disaster in the making?...James Spader joins The Office as the new boss at Dunder Mifflin...Jennifer Aniston, who isn't planning to take any time off, spit out the Pitts during her interview on Inside the Actors Studio... Kidnap victim Elizabeth Smart is going to work for ABC News...TLC is bringing Little People, Big World back...All My Children and One Life to Live will live on online...Nicole Richie joins Jessica Simpson on Fashion Star...Charlie Sheen might follow in Jack Nicholson's footsteps (no, not the Jack in The Shining)...Toddlers & Tiaras featured its first pageant prince...CNN cancels In the Arena With Eliot Spitzer, schedules more Anderson Cooper... Modern Family's getting a new baby Lily, Gossip Girl's getting Elizabeth Hurley and more...X Factor gets Mariah Carey, at least for a little while...Who wants a That '70s Show reunion?
SCREEN PLAY: Breaking Dawn is coming to Comic-Con (which is great, because it's not coming to theaters until November)...Suri Cruise in Rock of Ages?...Taylor Lautner and Kevin Costner spoof Field of Dreams...Angelina Jolie is worth a couple million more than Jen...Check out our reviews of Horrible Bosses and Zookeeper.
MUSIC: Taylor Swift is home sick this weekend with bronchitis...Adele kicks laryngitis and is ready to resume touring... Peep the cover for Demi Lovato's new single, "Skyscraper"...Pia Toscano signed her never-in-doubt record deal...Real Housewives of New York star Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has a too real video for "Chic C'est La Vie."...Aside from overcoming laryngitis, Adele's album 21 became the fastest-selling digital album to surpass 1 million units Stateside...Katy Perry scrapped her concerts this weekend because of food poisoning
COVERAGE: Costars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis get cozy in Elle...Pippa Middleton graces a very busy cover of Tattler...Justin Bieber's cute mug covered the worst-selling issue of Vanity Fair in the last 12 years...Lady Gaga is honest as always with The Advocate...Rihanna discusses her post-breakup "f--k you" attitude in Cosmopolitan U.K....Heidi Klum dishes on Michael Kors' naughty sense of humor in Glamour.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Megan Fox looks untroubled by gossip as the face of Armani's cosmetics line.
SEEN: Denise Richards and daughters Sam, Lola and Eloise running errands in Calabasas...Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz toting son Egypt around NYC...Jennifer Aniston planting her hands and feet in the cement at Groman's Chinese Theater and sharing smiles with newly clean-shaven beau Justin Theroux...Mariah Carey looking strong as she heads into her Manhattan apartment building...Taylor Momsen grinding out another performance with her band Pretty Reckless at the Razzmatazz nightclub in Barcelona...Jessica Alba leaving a manicure appointment in Hollywood...Reese Witherspoon flashing a surprise tattoo on her tummy while enjoying the 4th of July in Malibu...A buffed-up Sean Penn strolling a Malibu beach with lovely brunette Stacey Koplin...Paris Hilton and The Hangover director Todd Phillips party hopping and PDAing over the holiday weekend...LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian snapping a self-portrait on the beach in Malibu...Anthony Weiner and wife Huma Abedin looking none the worse for wear while shopping for dinner-party supplies in Forest Hills, N.Y....Nick Lachey enjoying his remaining days of bachelorhood with brother Drew Lachey and pals at Tao nightclub and Tao Beach at the Venetian in Vegas.