Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

AP Photo/Misha Japaridze

Dear Ted:
I'm probably just dreaming, but Megan Fox had a Vice after just one awful role, so do Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the two hottest Brits on the planet, I repeat, the two hottest Brits on the planet, have a Vice?

Dear Optimus Primed:
Since your love for Miss Rosie means you'll suffer through the latest Transformers crapfest, I'll take pity on you and tell you two things, B: First, believe it or not, Megsy is Vice-free. Shocking, no? And second, one half of that couple has definitely made her way into the monikered mayhem. Whoops, guess I gave it away.

Dear Ted:
Question about Alexander Skarsgård. I've noticed that he has slimmed down recently, and GQ said it was for a role. My question is, will he buff back up to True Blood season three size?

RELATED: Movie Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon Is Too Much, but Still Not Enough!

Dear Buff Temps:
While Skarsey may be a bit skinnier these days, must 'fess I still thought he looked drop-dead, drool-worthy good in the season premiere. Trust, if I had been Sookie, I wouldn't have made a stink over Eric suddenly appearing in my boudoir. If you know what I mean, doll.

Dear Ted:
I just watched the video of Selena Gomez meeting Shia LaBeouf and I must say, I think she and this naughty boy would make a great couple! Justin Bieber is too much of a wannabe bad boy, and Selena should be dating someone older and more mature than little baby Bieber. The only problem is, I'm worried Shia might corrupt her good-girl image. Any chance these two might couple up at some point? Or should Selena stay away from Shia's Vicey ways?

Dear Bad to the Beouf:
While Selena was über-adorable in the vid (like with everything she does), I think she's better suited for the Biebs than good-ol' blabbermouth LaBeouf. And trust, it's not like S can't handle a dude with a Vice—'cause she can—but J.B. is into that lovey-dovey crap as much as she is.

Dear Ted:
Are you angry at Kristen Stewart's fans? Do you read the posts here? Not everyone who bashes Robert Pattinson is a Krisbian. Some people are lunatics who just like to bash. I've been called both a Krisbian and a Robssessed. I've been called a lot worse here because your site is full of lunatics. Rob's fandom is much bigger than Kristen's. The Nonstens have their own websites where they bash Kristen with extreme hatefulness and lies. The anti-Kristen brigade uses the media. They were the first faction to petition to keep Kristen away from Rob. Then a Krisbian retaliated.

Dear Robsten United:
Of course not, H. I just like poking fun at you ladies sometimes, that's all. Any Robsten fan is OK in my book, tho I prefer the nice ones (guess I'm just a softie like that). I know that Krisbians can be just as nasty as the Rob fans and vice versa. Maybe it's time for a reminder to play nice, guys and gals!

Dear Ted:
Is Olivia Wilde Sally Pearlsmyth? That would make me kinda sad; I think she'd be a great mom.

Dear Mama Drama:
Nice try, Ry, but that's a big, fat no. While O may be enjoying her time with a bunch of Blind Vice bachelors, none of them is Percy. Olivia's Vice is a lot sexier (and a lot less sad) than poor Sally's.

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