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    Afternoon Bitch-Back! There's Only One Twilight!

    Kristen Stewart, Saoirse Ronan George Pimentel/WireImage; Scott Gries/PictureGroup via AP Images

    Dear Ted:
    Just because this Saoirse Ronan is in a movie by Stephenie Meyer doesn't mean we Twi-hards are going to follow her around like she's Kristen Stewart. You must think we're really brainless. When will you people learn that Twilight is Twilight? No other young adult book made into a movie will ever be Twilight! This is not to say that Twi-hards won't go to see the film, but like me, I've never read The Host. Twi-hards are only obsessed with one franchise and that's Twilight. No Edward Cullen? It's dead on arrival. Besides, she's no Kristen Stewart.
    —PG

    Dear Host Roast:
    I may need to come up with a new label for a few par-tick peeps more Twilight-obsessed than even the Twi-hards. Any suggestions, doll? As for Saoirse, she's no K.Stew...yet. But don't count her out. S.R. has that low-key, cool-gal thing that Kristen has, so fans will love her. As for The Host, well, let me know opening weekend if you see it or not. I'll put good money on the fact that your toosh will be in a seat, lusting over all the new eye candy.

    Dear Ted:
    Lea Michele
    and the Glee cast will leave the show after the third season. While Naya Rivera is working on an album, Lea is focusing on acting. I will follow Lea and her career, she is amazing and I love her. So about Lea, do you have any news about her on movies front? I don't get why the producers are not offering her parts yet, she is a really talented actress.
    —Rose

    RELATED: Will The Host's Saoirse Ronan Be the Next Kristen Stewart?

    Dear Glee-dar:
    Whoa, Rose, the show isn't losing all of its Gleeks next season. Trust, L.M. will stick around for a while. And while Lea does want to be a big, huge movie star, she doesn't have much on her slate right now. Believe it or not, the gal doesn't have a ton of time to shoot big-screen flicks—what with the Glee tour just wrapping and the show resuming production next month. We're sure she'll get some job offers once her schedule is a bit more flexible.

    Dear Ted:
    Just realized that when Nikki Reed announced her engagement, none of her castmates responded with congratulatory messages or good wishes. Considering they have spent the last four years or so on the same franchise, that was in poor taste. Especially her friends like Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner. What are your thoughts?
    —Your Fan Sin

    Dear Bride-Be-Gone:
    I'm sure there were some private congrats from the whole gang, but don't you think it might even be tackier if they held a press conference to announce how proud they are of their vampy costar? Tho, on second thought, Nikki may have loved that. Oh well, maybe for her next big announcement.

    Dear Ted:
    What's going on with Coco Crack-Head recently? Has she tamed down her ways recently? Pippa (my stray German shepherd mix, not the Middleton sister) is concerned.
    —BrightStar

    Dear Crack Is Whack:
    If by tamed, you mean CCH is better about keeping her nasty little drug habit a secret, then yes, she's tamed down her ways. What's that old saying? Snort coke in a pizza joint once, shame on us, snort coke in a pizza joint twice, shame on you, Coco!

    Dear Ted:
    I'm not liking Justin Theroux for Jennifer Aniston. He is very skeevy looking and almost psychotic-looking in the eyes. Please help convince Ms. Aniston that he is not for her.
    —Chickie

    Dear Um-Match Maker:
    I have to disagree, love. I like that J.T. has that whole bad-boy thing going for him—and I mucho like that it seems to be rubbing off on Jen. She's letting her freak flag fly a little these days and we salute it!

    PHOTOS: Breaking Dawn: Stills to Swoon Over!

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