Morning Bitch-Back! Where in the World Is Zac Efron?

Readers wonder about the missing movie star

By Ted Casablanca Jun 28, 2011 11:12 AMTags
Zac EfronFame Pictures

Dear Ted:
Where is Zac Efron? Is he in hiding? I never thought I could have withdrawal symptoms from not seeing him, but I am. I hope he's OK after the split from V-fug.
—D from TX

Dear Zac Attack:
Couldn't agree with you more, D! Especially now that he's gone and become all muscled. Don't worry to much about Zac's post-split state of mind; I don't think he's lying low because he has a broken heart—Zefron was never the half of that couple that loved the limelight. He'll be back on red carpets (and hopefully in the Vice vault) soon, though.

Dear Ted:
Why in the world are Britney Spears' handlers allowing her to prance around in a bikini top and daisy dukes? The woman has had two children and a lifetime of trouble. In my opinion, Brit should drop the slutty pop star act and become a serious artist (assuming she's got the vocals to knock it out) Can't you just see her making a "real" comeback with substance?
—Sarah TV

RELATED: Is Zac Efron Hooking Up With a Victoria's Secret Model?

Dear Maternal Instinct:
While I don't think there's anything wrong with Brit rockin' the leotards like every other popstar in the biz, I'll admit that her "rock star" getup (if that's what she was going for) was my least fave of her concert costumes. But I'm sure it was Britney's fave to wear. Whatever, to each their own.

Dear Ted:
What's the Vicey stuff going down on Mad Men? Are Jon Hamm and Christina Hendricks divas? What about Elisabeth Moss the Scientologist? Is there a reason January Jones' screen time has disappeared?
—Curious

Dear Men Down:
All great questions, doll, but none of your guesses are on the Man Men money—though you have a couple of the players correct, that's for sure. Think way more Vicey and a bit less conventional; I'm sure you'll sniff out the snuff eventually.

Dear Ted:
I'm a big fan of Leighton Meester and Garrett Hedlund (and I know you are, too!), but we haven't heard about them in a while. Now I hear they were hanging out at the Sunset Marquis Villa pool this weekend! What's up?
—Lisa

Dear Larrett Lover:
While these two are definitely not an official item, they've made it no secret that they've kept in touch since their days croonin' love songs to each other on the Country Strong set. I'm sure we'll see them pop up together in the future, but they'll play it coy and casual for a while.

Dear Ted:
Life is getting in the way of living lately, and your blog is my daily distraction. I was wondering if we could play a round of my new game, Blind Vice Hookups, where your loyal readers try to pair two B.V. players together and give them a nickname. Fun, right? First question: Have Veronica Bee-Stings and King Schlong ever hooked up? And if so, would you call them King Bee or...?
—AMM

Dear Moniker Mania:
I'll bite, babe. Personally, just from names alone I would go with Schlong Sting, but when it comes to this twosome—who do know each other (it's Hollywood after all)—I wouldn't even bother giving them a cutesy joint name at all.