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Blind Vice

Moi, I can hear Defamer now: Casablanca, more gray, less humpy, shocks readers, runs thinly veiled homosexual Blind Vice. Or something of that deadpan ilk they ooze so well over there. Yeah, well, get used it, is all I have to say.

'Cause, yes, yet another H-town fairy is preferring to have his fancy day-spa activities end with a palm-on-privates finale! And that palm to which I refer, natch, belongs to a handsome masseur, and the genitalia are attached to one...Rusty Busty—general nice dude and award-winning actor—about whom fans know very, very little (and, trust, Rust loves it that way).

Now, isn't it interesting: Over at the superluxe Turkish Pavilion spa, where it's like a posh living room set around a series of pools, steam baths and treatment rooms, employees are expressly forbidden from venturing down into clients' nether regions. In fact, they're friggin' fired for it—if they get caught.

(Granted, if the opposite occurs, as it has, certainly more than once with an Academy Award-winning actor, the client is forbidden from coming back, as it were, ever again.)

So, ain't it veddy interesting that more than one male-kneading type is willing to risk his vocation on the chance to finesse all round Rusty's impressive...frame, as it were. Jeez, Rusty, is that the reason you're consistently unmarried?

(Hey, at least you're not busy telling us media folk ya just haven't met the right babe, and for that, I'm terribly grateful.)

And it ain't:
Brandon Routh

Rena Durham/ZUMApress.com

Sean Hayes

Scott Weiner/ZumaPress.com

Wentworth Miller

Lisa O'Connor/WireImage.com