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    Blind Vice! Crotch Uh-Lastic Takes to the Sexy Skies

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    Must admit: we've been pretty worried about one par-tick Vicer lately. See, we adore Crotch Uh-lastic and his hump-happy ways, but the dude's been tweaking out of his mind lately. Believe us, we so much preferred dishing on his skanky sexcapades than his dubious mindset.

    Which is why we're très thrilled that CU-L has put the cuckoo crap on hold and is making a sexy splash with his many boy-toys these days. But he's not into the poolside scene like he once was. No, Crotch has upgraded to...

    RELATED: Blind Vice: How Far Can Crotch Push It?

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    The mile-high club!

    Yep, Crotch has taken his fagola flair to the friendly skies. But he's not picking up horny hunks in Virgin's first-class cabin—'cause like any celeb worth his superstar status, C racks up his frequent-flier miles on a private plane.

    Sound familiar?

    It's like Crotch took a page right out of Fey Oiled-Tush's guide to being a dude on the D.L.

    Remember, Fey likes to take his plethora of handpicked young studs into the clouds and explore the cockpit, if you know what we mean (and we're pretty sure you do)—all while his poor, bitched-at pilot watches on. 

    The good news is that C-UL's personal sky captain isn't dissatisfied with his closeted clientele. In fact he likes Crotchy quite a bit—in a strictly platonic, hetero way, of course...for now, at least.

    The bad news? He's still spilling secrets about Crotch's sexy vacays to anyone who will listen—tho the news that C is bedding boys is shocking to about...no one.

    But Crotch isn't just in it for the nookie, he likes taking his pseudo-BFs on trips for two around the globe. First they do the deed and then go on a cutesie date in some far-off foreign local,e away from the bright lights and paparazzi lens of Hollywood.

    Now isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?

    And It Ain't: Garrett Hedlund, Stephen Moyer, Chris Colfer

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