Sometimes when you get a plain brown envelope in the mail you say, "Ooh! My porn is here!" Other times you say, "Mystery package!"
I honestly don't know how to characterize the screener copy of Law & Order: Criminal Intent's season finale that landed on my desk this morning other than, well, it's not porn—it does, however, deliver a series of astonishing shocks not unlike the ones you would receive if you repeatedly drove your car into a power transformer. Read on for some hints:
Goren's (Vincent D'Onofrio) notorious archnemesis Nicole Wallace (Olivia D'Abo) is back. She is still the cunning and wily awesome psycho be-yotch she's always been. Goren is in her sights, but now so is everyone who is even remotely related to Goren, including his brother Frank (Tony Goldwyn). Only, given her murderous ways of the past, what happens with Nicole is not at all what you would imagine...
What I Can Tell You:
If you're a CI fan, you must watch USA on Sunday night at 9 p.m.—it ties together a ton of long-running storylines, it's totally bizarre, and it's completely captivating.
—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin