Turns out Anthony Weiner's worst nightmare wasn't having to face the cameras and resign from public office today. It's that Howard Stern show writer (turned professional heckler) Benjy Bronk was in the audience.
Let's just say the press conference quickly went from PG to R, and forced many a network censor to have a hand on the bleep button.
Bronk first reared his head (and booming voice) when Weiner took to the podium last week to announce that, yes, he had sent inappropriate texts and pictures to numerous women while serving as a New York congressman.
"Were you fully erect?" Bronk yelled at the end of that speech, to the complete shock of the reporters in the room. (Weiner never did answer.)
But today, just as Weiner faced his most humiliating moment yet, Bronk took it even further, barraging him with questions about his "hot physique" and the length of his privates.
Weiner was just a few minutes into his speech when the microphones began picking up the shouts from Bronk, who was standing in the center of the throng of reporters covering the event.
"I'd hoped to be able to continue the work that the citizens of my district elected me to do, to fight for the middle class and those struggling to make it," Weiner said. "Unfortunately the distraction I have created has made that impossible so today I am announcing my resignation from Congress."
"Yaaaaaaay! Buh-bye, pervert!" was screamed, to gasps in the room from reporters.
Then, Bronk's queries began.
"Sen. Weiner, the people would like to know were you fully erect? The people demand to know! were you fully erect or are you capable of more? I want to know!"
While Weiner paused, a reporter assured the congressman that Bronk "is not with us."
Bronk's follow-up question?
"Sen. Weiner [sic], are you more than 7 inches?"
Weiner tried his best to soldier on, reading from his notes and ignoring Bronk. After wrapping up, Weiner beat a hasty retreat, avoiding any questions.
But Bronk's work wasn't done. He saved his best for last:
"Will maintain your hot physique and smooth sexy chest?" he yelled, in reference to Weiner's many shirtless pics featuring his shaved chest and sculpted pecs that got him into this mess in the first place.
Stern would have been proud.
Meanwhile, Gloria Allred, who (per her usual M.O.) managed to insert herself into the Weiner fiasco by holding a press conference with texting target/former porn star Ginger Lee, issued a statement shortly after his announcement.
"The message from this scandal and the disgrace that Congressman Weiner has brought upon himself should serve as a clear message to those in public office that there is a standard of conduct which is expected and demanded of them and if they fail to meet that standard then they will be forced to suffer the consequences," Allred said.
"Congressman Weiner has no one to blame but himself for what has transpired," Allred said. "Ginger Lee, my client, was very courageous in coming forward and revealing what happened to her and we hope that her decision to speak out has in some small way helped to prompt his decision to resign."