Of course we want everyone to raise their rainbow flag during this wonderful month of June, but we're not naive, babes. Team Truth has been following certain down-low dudes—and darlings, of course—for years through their Vices, and we know most of ‘em would never swap their superstar status for sexual liberation.
If only they would listen to Dianna Agron and get some friggin' pride already!
But while there are some famous folks who hide their same-sex lovers like it's a sin, others are a little bit closer to coming out of their swanky Hollywood closets. So we thought we'd throw them a bone and ask, which down-low duo would you like to see smoochin' on a parade float?
Toothy Tile and Grey Goose: Of course T2 tops the list. A decade of denial can't be ignored—and with the many rumors over the years (and trust, there have been many) that Tooth was finally gonna man up and come out, we gotta hope that eventually he'll be loud and proud, right? (Sadly, probably not.)
But if T were to come out for anyone it would be his longtime, on-again, off-again guy, Grey Goose, who's not too thrilled about coming out either. C'mon, fellas, at least you have each other!
Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream: Jude hasn't exactly been the best BF...In fact, he kinda sucks. But at one point, he and Dashed were gonna tie the knot. That was before all the Hollywood hoopla came into play, but we know Judas preferred holding hands with D3 to humping horny beards.
That's not to say Dashed would ever take the no-good JJO back, but let's be honest, he's always had a soft spot for the Jack-Off. Maybe the pride parade is the perfect place to reconnect?
Kirkland Dogmatic and Teddy Big-Treat: These two are basically already out, well, actually, one of them already is! Teddy doesn't mind playing the straight game for the man he loves, but we know he'd love to be more than friends with Kirk, publicly speaking.
So what's holding him back? To be honest, we wouldn't exactly be shocked to see K.D. shakin' it on a float, and we don't exactly think you would be either. And Teddy would look perfect at his side.
Butter Pussy and Her Longtime Lover: Butter is the one most in denial about her sexuality, 'cause no one around her cares one way or another. Especially the gal she's kept in the wings for a while now, who's reaping all Pussy's well...you know what we're getting at.
Not to say she doesn't dabble with other women, but she's got something special with one par-tick broad. And we know B.P. would be breathing a lot easier if she'd just get her "big confession" off her chest.
Venetia Vag-0-Matic and Her Former GF: Venetia cheated on her ex-GF like the no-good party gal she is, but we think her former flame could conceivably forgive her. If Venetia were to ditch her way-shallow closet, that is. See, we almost forgot to include VV on this list because she's done all but admit that she's a les.
So is Venetia the gal you want to be here, queer and have the rest of T-tow deal with it? Or do you think that one of the other relayshes is more deserving of a confetti celebration this June?