Jennifer Garner, Seraphina Affleck

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Dear Ted:
You're my most trusted gossip source, so I've gotta ask. Most of what I've read makes me like Jennifer Garner—appealing actress, intelligent, loving mom, etc. Maybe a bit reserved, but frankly that's refreshing for an actress. But then I also hear a ton of bad stuff about her too. So what's the deal with her? Should I love her or hate her?

Dear This Pains Me:
Ben Affleck
's other half has been absolutely snitty to plenty in this town, including this very column. But that's not to say we don't admire Garner's tough-mama stance on defending her family, because we do. More celebrity moms should follow her lead, as far as we're concerned ‘cause the kids didn't ask to be public figures here, the ‘rents did. That said, Jennifer's own mother should have taught her better manners when dealing with folks Jennifer doesn't exactly agree with, and I think we'll leave it at that.

Dear Ted:
Could Sally Pearlsmyth be the recently troubled—but seemingly resilient—Demi Lovato? Believe that I take no pleasure in this Vice, not even a little schadenfreude. Just dying to know. Heart you!

Dear Heart Ya Back:
It's rather an excellent guess, but must say, it's a wrong one. Think less dark, in so many ways.

Dear Ted:
Could you give us some insight as to why Taylor Lautner's PR rep would drop him? I can understand some unruly H'wood stars, but Taylor hasn't been apart of any drama and has this huge movie coming up. Rumors said his dad was being difficult, but why wouldn't the rep want to wait another eight months until he's 18? The kid is obviously a money maker.

Dear Onto Something:
Lautner's "team," which, of course, includes his bossy dad, has not been seeing eye to eye for some time now. Losing two publicists in a short amount of time is only the beginning of what's going to be coming out regarding this story. I can't help but be reminded of Dina Lohan, who helped ruin Lindsay Lohan's career with this same kind of behavior (Lindsay certainly had her own part in her demise, too, that's for sure). It's really sad, and actually not that new of a story.

Dear Ted:
Is Barry Wanger-Banger better known for TV or movie roles? I need more clues. He seems interesting.

Dear Banger-Babe:
He is! And a total sweetie, too. Movies, to answer your question.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Jennifer Aniston's latest infatuation with Justin Theroux? Do you think it's the real deal or will it last as long as all of her other somewhat quick relationships?

Dear He's Different:
Might, might, last a little longer. But that's only because he's smarter than most of the rest. Unless he already has a girlfriend.

Dear Ted:
So Twyla has "wilder habits" that are hindering her career? I don't seem to remember those from her Blind. Are you sure you aren't getting her confused with Terry Tush-Trade again? Maybe those two have a lot in common. What say you, Ted? Your loyal Vice readers are dying to get this one cleared up!

Dear Lesbian Loyal:
Yes, Terry was wilder in the beginning, but trust us, Twyla's been catching up, big-time!

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