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    Bitch-Back! A Not So Gleeful Warning to the Vampire Diaries Costars!

    Naya Rivera, Mark Salling, Ian Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev Amanda Edwards/FOX, Courtesy of Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    Nina Dobrev
    and Ian Somerhalder should take a note from Mark Salling and Naya Rivera. He's been reduced to a side note as her role continues to get bigger. What's the phrase? Don't s--t where you eat? Certainly there are enough people to screw in H'wood without screwing your coworkers. Although Naya seems to have traded up if you count more screen time!
    —K

    Dear Costar Caveat:
    But why go out of your way to find a hottie when there are so many surrounding you all day, every day? It's a human resources nightmare, but it always is tabloid fodder for days (which I, of course, adore). Don't worry about "Nian" though, totally different relaysh than the Glee terrible twosome in terms of what they want to get out of their off-set canoodling.

    Dear Ted:
    First of all, congrats on the big quit! I did it 15 years ago, and it's still the best thing I've done for myself. Around Oscar time, you alluded to a couple that were on the edge of breaking up, but were holding off. Was it really a couple with one partner in the Oscar race, or could you have been talking about Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger? This is obviously a separation that was a long time in the works, considering how unhappy Maria has been. But did anyone see the kid coming?
    —Robin from S.F.

    TWITTER: Follow Ted

    Dear In a Word?
    No. But with Schwarzenegger's rep, I consider this pretty stunning, don't you?

    Dear Ted:
    Can we please get some dish on Veronica Bee-Stings? It's just cruel that you tell us she had an affair with one of her married costars whose wife is trying to ruin her career and don't tell us what she's doing to stop it! Do the wife and her cheating husband have Blind Vices already?
    —MN

    Dear Bzzz Worthy:
    Hell hath no fury like a woman scored, but Hollywood hath no power like a babe who's willing to get it on to get what she wants—which is what the missus forgot. But the wronged wife is certainly seeing the silver lining these days—'cause it gives her another naughty indiscretion to hold over the head of her henpecked hubby.

    Dear Ted:
    Something tells me Big Bang geek Jim Parsons has been keeping a few secrets, so I can't help but wonder if he's made an appearance as a Vice.
    —A

    Dear Vice Theory:
    You're totally onto something, nerd luvah. There is a Big Bang star that's been inducted into the world of Vices, but it ain't Jimmy. It's much more predictable, actually. Sexier, too!

    Dear Ted:
    I was wondering how come I never see any candids or anything on most of the True Blood castmembers besides Alex, Stephen, Anna or Joe. Are the others "stealth" or is there not much public interest in them?
    —Sapphire

    Dear Vampaparazzi:
    Sadly, more so the latter. Tara, Jessica and the others may be living the high life in Bon Temps, but in H'wood they're not-quite-A-list alter egos aren't exactly paparazzi-stalking worthy. Some of them, I'm sure, prefer it that way! In fact, just spotted Deborah Ann Woll at a nearby salad eatery and almost didn't recognize the dressed-down darling!

    Dear Ted:
    How in the world can Britney Spears stay so famous and make so many hit records when she never sings live? This seems to be like an ignored fact, too. It's something that her critics never talk about.
    —Felicia

    Dear Oops…She Did It Again:
    Please, F, no one bitches about Brit's lack of live singing anymore because everyone knows and no one who loves her really seems to care. Thing is, B got away with it because she always gave a good show—but if her recent performances are any indication, this tour may be the final nail in her career coffin. Let's hope not!

    Dear Ted:
    I am curious to know if Super-Duper Cooper's famous girlfriends are into the same stinky fetish he is, or does he save that for the adoring groupies who just want to get down and dirty with a celebrity? If he is who I think he is, I just do not get the appeal....fetish or not.
    —Diane

    Dear Poop Patrol:
    Honey, he's a typical guy: just grabs whoever's dumb enough to put up with his crap.

    PHOTOS: TV's Top Couples

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