Does it even matter what goes on in the privacy of a couple's home when they can shimmy-shake it together in front of millions—just like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony—or quasi-passionately embrace, à la Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham?
This, ladies and gents, is what we call a showmance.
J.Lo don't do "back up" for nobody!
She's a judge on American Idol, the top-rated show in the country! And though J to the L.O. may still be Jenny from the block, her Fly Girl days on In Living Color are over.
Can someone give Marc the memo that he should pass the mic to his wifey—who got him the gig? She puts on a way better show, not to mention being easier on the eyes.
And Oprah, why, after keeping Stedman hidden away for your 25 years on the air, do you all of a sudden decide to showboat him around during your final two episodes?
You practically had to step over Gayle when you remembered to hug your longtime partner after getting emotional during Aretha Franklin's rendition of "Amazing Grace."
And then, in the finale, when Oprah took her final walk off the stage straight into Stedman's arms, where they embraced and shared a kiss but didn't have eye contact? It's just so...not Oprah.
What is Oprah is the fact that the ending shot of the final episode ever was of Oprah picking up her dog and walking away.
There's the Big O we know and love! All business holding an animal that can't talk back!
But looks like this life-long love triangle isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Today Oprah tweeted: "Staying in pj's all day. Getting hair braided for summer vaca. Reading all ur emails. Watched Gayle K. Show with Stedman. On at 4-6 on OWN."
Ah yes, still plugging your network and throwing bones to your BFF. Never change, O, never change!
Now can someone remind Marc Anthony that the times have changed? It's not 1992 anymore. J.Lo has spread her wings since the Fly Girl days!