Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper turned mistress turned illegitimate baby mama was identified this morning and thanks to what we presume is the violation of all manner of land-speed laws, the media arrived en masse to set up camp at her Bakersfield, Calif., home just a few short hours later.
Well, we say her home. Her neighbors have a different story to tell.
According to them, the one-story home (which incidentally appears to have wisely been vacated before the swarm of reporters and their roughly two dozen news crews descended) on an otherwise quiet cul-de-sac was actually purchased for Mildred Patricia Baena by Schwarzenegger last year.
According to real estate records, Baena purchased the home last year for $268,000, but her next door neighbor, Mary Steelman, told the Bakersfield Californian that the real estate agent who closed the deal blabbed to Steelman (for whatever reason), that the home was actually purchased by the former governor for an employee of his who was retiring.
Neighbor Roger Steelman told a similar story to the New York Post, saying that the apparently loose-lipped realtor informed him that the Sperminator was purchasing the home for one of his "longtime assistants."
Kern County property records obtained by E! News show that Baena, listed as a single woman in the paperwork, purchased the home last June, taking out a $219,224 mortgage with a 30-year term.
But enough with the scandalous details—just how sweet a pad did Arnie buy his secret family?
Well, according to Trulia, the single family residence boasts four bedrooms (sounds like someone's sharing—other than the 13-year-old boy at the center of the scandal, Baena reportedly has three other children, though their ages are unknown), two bathrooms and is spread over 2,325 square feet.
The wood home was built in 1994, has a fireplace, a two-car garage, as well as a pool and basketball hoop set up in the backyard. So, more or less your standard suburban home.
Funny, we expected so much more from you, Arnie. On so many counts.
—Reporting by Claudia Rosenbaum