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Kanye West's Mystery Woman Revealed (Yay!), but How's His New Music? (Meh)

Kanye West ©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
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Cannes has been up and down for volatile rapper Kanye West. After French kissing in France with a mystery blonde on his hotel balcony yesterday, Kanye decided to leak some new material on unsuspecting late-night diners in Cannes.

The good news? We may have discovered the identity of Kanye's mystery woman. The bad news? The reviews are in on his music, and, how can we put this politely? Merde happens.

RELATED: All the fashions, stars, video and stories from Cannes

According to the sometimes reliable U.K. Mirror, Kanye's balcony babe is none other than lingerie model Kate Upton, best known for...um, kissing Kanye. No wait, she was the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue's Rookie of the Year in the 2011 spread. OK, if this is accurate, score one for Kanye and his rumored new GF.

But about this music thing....The Mirror says Kanye and his entourage dropped in at hoppin' Cannes bistro Le Vesuvio and played some new tunes on the patrons, who tolerated it for a few minutes before turning up their noses with the French equivalent of meh.

Kanye explained that it wasn't a new album, "It's just for Europe. I'm just experimenting."

Mark this one down as a failed experiment, because the embarrassed restaurant manager hit eject after several customer complaints (but not before he begged Kanye for a glossy pic for the joint's celebrity wall).

But chin up, Kanye, even superstars like Brad and Angie find that reviews can be harsh in Cannes.

ADDENDUM: As a few of our assute commenters suggested in our comments section, that isn't Kate Upton after all. Via her twitter, Upton is adamantly denying she's been in Cannes, and our news hounds are currently sussing out the balcony babe's true identity. More later.

GALLERY: Cannes 2011: Star Sightings!

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