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Morning Bitch-Back! Who Is January Jones' Baby Daddy, Already?

January Jones ADTJ KALV/GSI Media

Dear Ted:
I think January's baby daddy is Bobby Flay.
—Miss P

Dear Off By Months:
Really, just based on that incident where he came to her rescue after a car crash, over a year ago? Oh, we get it, that the reason Bobby (who's married, by the way) came to the scene of the January's crash may have been much more involved than he let on. But the point is, we're hearing January has had a little personal smash-up of her own on the set of X-Men: First Class, much more recently. And that Bobby's not involved.

Dear Ted:
All this break-up news about Arnold and Maria got me thinking about an old Blind Vice about Quidget and Bridget Barks-a-Little and Harry and La-Feelya Fun-Tanked. Any chance the couples were Tipper and Al Gore, and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins? Also, I'm very curious to know if there are any Vice-y stories behind Arnold and Maria's break-up! Please, do tell! Am I the only one that finds it funny that the Clintons are still married, while these other couples are coming apart at the seams?
—spartanbridget

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Dear Stop Making Sense:
The Clintons are politicians. They had to stay together for her to ascend in politics—it was a bargain they both made with each other (and the devil, too, perhaps), to remain by each other's sides. Yes, there are heaps of stories about the Arnold and Maria, many of them regarding his womanizing are already out—many more will be coming out. Alas, your choices for the the Barks-a-Littles and the Fun-Tankeds are not correct. Too old, really, and think music for one half of these couples.

Dear Ted:
I'd say ditch Bradley, do Ryan, and marry Leo. That way, you could have a go with Ryan and have lots of yum yum time with Leo! Mr. Cooper just seems like a total jerk to me.
—Megan Helsley (via Facebook)

Dear Drunk:
Or just plain crazy—Cooper is the most adventurous of all these boys, at least, in the bedroom, he is. We been told this by excellent sources. And, because of that, my dear, we must all choose his as a do-boy. 

Dear Ted:
Ted—love your wit—love your charm—love your dish—taking a stab at Judas Jack-off and Dashed—-could it be Sean Pyfrom and Penn Badgley? I saw them both hanging out as "buds" at Mammoth ski area this past March (during gay ski weekend—coincidence?) and they are brunching/lunching/drinking together in LA Penn and Blake never seem like a real couple to me. PS—I volunteer at the Friends of Animals foundation—-great shelter to give a plug! Muah! A lot.
—Joe

Dear Animalistic:
Hey agree with the Penn and Blake off biz, but, Penn and Sean are not Judas and Dashed. Kinda cool how pretty close you are, though. But don't assume a brunch means a bedroom munch later!

Dear Ted:
Congratulations
on kicking the cigarettes! Stay strong, buddy. Second, I'm absolutely gutted that Jenna was killed off of The Vampire Diaries this past week. Sara Canning seems like an absolute doll & aside from the one run in with the law all of the girls had when the show first started, is there anything Vicey in her closet or is she as genuinely sweet as she seems?
—Katie

Dear It's a Show:
She's totally cool, but, come on, her Jenna as ka-loo-less. What do you expect to happen in a situation like that? By the way, why am I having a better feeling about Vampire Diaries than the next season of True Blood? Think that will go away?

Dear Ted:
I love that Kristen Chenoweth is back on Glee! I cannot get enough of her voice—or her sass! But watching her makes me cringe. She is painfully thin. I know she is very petite, naturally, but height aside, she is thinner than I have ever seen her. Please put my mind at ease and tell me that she is alright!
—Elizabeth

Dear Concerned:
I've met and seen Kristen several times at events. She is always as polite as she is svelte. Not too thin, I don't think, but, then I've been living in this town for over a decade, and I have to confess that more natural looking women are pretty tough to find. So, yeah, Kristen definitely needs to eat up!

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