Will my world be free of Kate and Prince William now that their wedding is finally done? At least until they have a baby?
—May V., via the inbox
Right, right. Like you didn't wake up at 3 a.m. to wave your officially sanctioned tea towel and weep like a country willow into your Pimm's Cup along with the planet. I'm onto you.
As for Will and Kate, I have bad news:
They're not going anywhere.
Anyone who has ever read a tabloid can tell you that after a celebrity's "wedding bells" comes "baby joy," followed, of course, by much "baby bumpin'" during the "bumpwatch." And Will and Kate are no exception.
Besides, the couple just keeps going places and doing things. In my sad profession, we call this "news," and, alas, it must be covered.
"There is a lot of excitement for their first trip to Los Angeles," notes CoverAwards founder and former OK! editor Mark Pasetsky. "There is going to be a lot of excitement around them."
And, in case you haven't heard—and you have—Will and Kate just left on their honeymoon, and people actually care.
According to Yahoo!, searches for Will and Kate's honeymoon are spiking 289 percent this week. Kate's recent grocery shopping trip caused search engines to go nuts. (Even in specialized communities, such as the yarn crafts site Ravelry, Kate fever is still alive and well, with users buzzing about how to replicate her knitwear.)
And where there is demand for such information, there will be tabloids bottom feeding their way to record sales.
Lastly, like I said, there is probably going to be a baby. And tabloids make a good chunk of their money of baby news stories.
"There's a good chance that she will be pregnant in the next year or two, because, well, that's what royals do," Pasetsky points out. "You'll be seeing a lot of tabloid covers saying 'Baby On the Way' or 'She's Already Pregnant'."
The other reason the royals are still selling well for magazines?
"There's not much else going on," Pasetsky notes. "Until another reality show like Teen Mom breaks big, you're going to see a lot of Will and Kate, at least in the tabloids."
So...maybe it's time for another reality show to break big?