Dear Ted:
What are your thoughts on the incessant tweets between Miley Cyrus and Jared Followill? They are so blatantly flirtatious and filled with sexual innuendos. Poor Liam Hemsworth! What is Miley thinking?
—KK & Sophie the little white fluffy dog
Dear Twit-Cheater:
Standard. Miley loves that male attention, it seems. Can't blame her though, she's one hot babe. But we agree she needs to tone down the short-shorts talk via Twitter with Jared. Even if they are "just friends," no boyfriend likes to see his girl flirting and reminding other guys how she loves to run around half-naked. Liam should be suspicious, which we're sure he is, but not threatened. He's three billion times hotter than Followill.
Dear Ted:
I know you have your heart set on Brad Pitt for Haymitch, but when I was reading the books I pictured someone like Philip Seymour Hoffman. What do you think?
—Tina Toronto
Dear Hoffman for Haymitch:
Eh. There's some potential there, especially when it comes to the acting. Philip has some major films under his belt and he worked every role smashingly. I just picture Haymitch, at least for movie purposes, to be a little sexier but still an old wise man. Could be wrong, but that's how we would like to watch him. The book's a whole other situation.
Dear Ted:
Is Cookie Muncher Fergie, because I could totally see Mr. Duhamel enjoying this vision?
—Richmond
Dear Tough Cookie:
For sure these two are frisky and kinky, but Cookie is a bit older, and less muscular, than Fergie-Ferg.
Dear Ted:
Please say it is so...Robsten are finally out and proud? I never thought I'd live to see the day. Rob in particular seems a lot more at ease answering questions and showing his lady off to the world. So my question to you is, What the hell happened? Why are they suddenly not hiding their relationship anymore? And can we expect to see more PDAs as Breaking Dawn approaches. Or is this just another Robsten setback? You know how they usually play it. One step forward, two steps back. I sincerely hope not!
—Lisa x
Dear Smitten:
Oh, you can expect loads more PDAs as Nov. 18 approaches! We all enjoy it, and so do they. We're happy to see them in love and not shy about it, but let's not force anything just yet. You know they like to mess with us when we get too snoopy.
Dear Ted:
Ryan Gosling seems too good to be true. Is my Vicedar way off?
—sarahswlau
Dear Not Too Off:
Everyone, I mean, everyone, wishes that Mr. Gosling was a dirty boy. But much to our desire, he isn't! Not yet at least. We hope he finds a woman that will bring out the wild side in him because we all know he's top on our to-Vice list.
Dear Ted:
Carrie Underwood's performance at the recent Country Girls' Night Out was simply breathtaking. Since she's achieved fame, she seems to have quite the squeaky-clean image. Any chance she's been a Blind Vice, or played a role in one? I don't think all country girls are as sweet as they seem. On that note, how is my fave, Priscilla Desert doing? She seems to be lying pretty low these past few weeks on the dating scene...unusual for her!
—C from Canada
Dear Country Crazed:
Nope, not Carrie! The girl has always been too clean for comfort. Seriously, post-wedding she got even more boring. Love her and her tunes, but she needs to spice it up a little more, or at least pretend to à la Priscilla. That babe's scoping out her next victim, trust. Never underestimate her game, with or without the sexy time.
Dear Ted:
Who is Alex Pettyfer?
—seabee666
Dear Made My Day:
You got jokes? And they're funny! Thanks for that, truly.
Dear Ted:
When will Brad and Angelina Jolie get married? I want them to make it official.
—Team Angelina
Dear Debatable:
Probably when we least expect it. Nothing like LeAnn and Eddie's nuptials, that is beyond sure. Brangelina is way classier, and their wedding will most likely be out of the States. They like to keep things exotic, obviously.
Dear Ted:
I read your column every day and am a huge fan! I also have two rescue pups and one of them is recuperating from eye surgery. She would like to know if Paul Walker or Vin Diesel are Blind Vices? We suspect they are! Can you give us a clue as to which Vicey behavior they engage in?
—LBP
Dear The Vice and The Furious:
We suspect they are Vicey too, especially Vin. But they aren't on our radar really, nor are they very out in the public. Plus, we can't believe they are still making those Fast and the Furious flicks, like seriously? Anyway, kisses to your pooches, and I hope the injured pup gets better real soon!
Dear Ted:
I have something to bitch about today. Am I the only one who thought Brandon Routh was perfect as Superman and was upset to see the role go to someone else? I haven't heard a peep about him in the media after the recasting of Henry Cavill. Do you have any inside info on the matter?
—VV
Dear Super Bitchy:
Routh was good, but people think Cavill is going to be ah-mazing. I mean, he's too handsome. You haven't heard a peep about it because no one is trying to steal Henry's thunder right now. Let him rock the roll, and if he doesn't then we will get to bashing. Plus, if Henry flops it will just prove your point that Routh was the better recast. Wait on it, hon!
Dear Ted:
This is my first time guessing any Blind Vices and I probably don't have these right, but here goes. Is Cookie Muncher Christy Brinkley? How about are Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Sally Pearlsmyth and Percy Dubois? I absolutely adore you and while I unfortunately don't have any pets, I do have a nearly 4-year-old son who has been taught from day one that animals should be treated kindly and are as much a part of the family as anyone else. Thank you for spreading the word about animal cruelty and being such a wonderful advocate for it!
—ask_62907
Dear Trying:
Those were excellent guesses, doll! But they just were not quite on par, especially Jake and Reese as Sally and Percy. Think a tad younger. A.T. is so proud that you are much a good mama. Keep up the good parenting!
Dear Ted:
The swinging N.Y. couple from Page Six has to be Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. I know Naomi from years ago and she was all about swinging back in the day. Wouldn't surprise me if it's back on the agenda for her. She may look very sweet and proper, but she knows how to get down and dirty with the best of them!
—anonymous
Dear Naomi Insider:
Really? Well, it wouldn't completely surprise us. The couple we have in mind are pretty similar in age and looks to Liev and Naomi, and we think we might be a little more in the know. Then again, no one ever is with these celebrity swingers. Your guess might just be as good as ours.
Dear Ted:
Is Cookie Muncher Vanessa Williams?
—lauraanthonypa
Dear Cookie Crumbs:
No, but you're a few yummy crumbs from the correct answer.
Dear Ted:
I'm noticing a trend and it is misunderstood English boys, between Robert Pattinson and now Alex P. They say something, and we (Americans) hear something else. Whether it's very dry humor or blatant cursing, their comments definitely get lost in translation. Should these guys from across the pond wise up about American language, or do Americans need to broaden their horizons?
—bubbleyumsteph
Dear Meeting Half Way:
Probably a mix of both. But regardless, you would never hear Pattinson blurt obscenities in a magazine interview the way Pettyfer did. He was clearly doing it to stir s--t up and draw some more attention to himself, and he succeeded. Agreed that those foreign boys can be a bit misunderstood, but really, it's still English. Some people are just raised sans manners.