Though, really, you can. No judgment here, people.
So after all the anticipation and time spent learning exactly what a "fascinator" is (so not what we thought), we're ready to bring you the pomp, emotion and, yes, fun. So read on...
Best Title: Prince William and Kate Middleton received brand-new titles with Wills getting His Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn and Baron Carrickfergus. So that's a threefer, which has got to feel really good (though totally confusing for anyone trying to craft a respectful Tweet-length message to him).
Chelsy Davy Alert! Prince Harry's gal pal went in through the North Gate early just after 9 a.m., so for those of you who have her in the royal wedding entrance pool, score!
Worst Realization: If you're a royal guest seated behind some of those giant hats, you are now realizing you probably would have had a better view if you'd stayed at home.
Best Becks: Now we're no etiquette expert, but we're fairly sure that no one is supposed to try to be prettier than the bride. So watch yourself, David Beckham. Not cool!
Blue Our Minds: We're going to leave the style talk to our experts, but Tara Palmer-Tomkinson immediately caught our eye for the fascinator attached to her head. Is it a blue canoe or something else entirely? We have a feeling that it's a hatmakers' Rorschach test, so we're not about to tell you what we thought it looked like.
See, It Is About the Hats: Did the wife of British Prime Minister David Cameron show up without the specifically requested hat? Somehow we imagine this will not go unnoticed in political circles, if only because it gives people a break from politics.
Best Accessory: So many to choose from, but we kind of love the little crown attached to the Bentley carrying Prince William and Prince Harry. We're totally getting that for our Camry.
That's Real Power: As Prince Harry followed his brother into a waiting area, a woman clutching a sheaf of papers stopped him with a question...or perhaps an order. (She looked very official.)
Most Reassuring: For such a momentous event, it's nice to see that a few of the older wedding guests looking just as they might at a regular wedding: Impatient to get the thing over with so they can hit the buffet.
Best Entrance: Well, say what you want about all this, but Kate Middleton knows how to look calm, cool and totally at ease in a situation that we can only imagine would be a mite stressful.
Hardest Working: As well as looking stunning, Pippa Middleton had the job of wrangling all the kids involved in the ceremony.
Funny Celebrity Moment: Elton John looked kind of like he was just moving his lips during one of the hymns.
Most Restraint: Both William and Kate shared small smiles and looks of almost-comical restraint, which was pretty cute considering they had a lot of people watching them say their vows to each other.
Big Surprise: The actual ceremony part is kind of quick, isn't it?
Cute Overload: Those solemn choirboys in their frilly outfits were pretty darn adorable. (And did it sound like they were singing "Beauty and the Beast"—or was that just us?)
Overstatement Award: "In a sense, every wedding is a royal wedding," the Bishop of London said in his address, no doubt causing many brides to wonder why their nuptials hadn't received any tabloid coverage (or an RSVP from the Beckhams). Otherwise, it was quite a good talk.
Signing Bonus: Whilst the couple repaired to another room to sign an official document—just married and paperwork, already!—we did get to see at least one of the invited laughing and popping some gum in her mouth.
Literal Metaphor: They say marriages are a long road together, but the couple's Westminster Abbey exit was a pretty big hike itself.
Fairytale Finish: The carriage was a nice touch, but the relaxed smiles between the now-married couple on their way to the Buckingham Palace was a sweet, human moment at the conclusion of this incredible event.
The Balcony Kiss(es): For a romantic moment that was actually scheduled, the newly married couple managed to it look spontaneous, romantic and heartfelt with a second one.