Bitch-Back! What Happened to a Drama-Free Breaking Dawn Set?

Readers want to know all the Twi-goss and what’s going on with their favorite Vices

By Ted Casablanca Apr 08, 2011 11:00 AMTags
Ashley Greene AP Photo/Charles Sykes

Dear Ted:
Ashley Greene
went and told In Style magazine about fights on the set of the Twilight movies, specifically mentioning it was a girl. It's not like Ashley is new to the block—she had to know this would cause a media frenzy about her and Kristen Stewart fighting. Is she that much of an attention you-know-what to do this on purpose?
—Annoyed

Dear Duh:
Ashley knows exactly what she is doing. She's as crafty as the rest of them, sans Robsten, when it comes to trying to get her name out there. I mean, she did date Joe Jonas. Another media ploy? Who knows, but what we do know is that the cast was getting along as of late with and without Greene. This looks like it is just some petty indirect bitching from Camp Greene. Either way, doubt Kristen is involved in any of that "fighting." She's way more professional and has some real acting to do.

Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift and Garrett Hedlund a new couple? What have you heard on your radar? This girl changes guys more than she changes her underwear! My puppy Daisy and I send our love.
—B in Alaska

Dear Do Your Laundry:
Seriously, the gal loves to jump from boy to boy, but she says that she's struggling to actually get in a stable relaysh, what with the public consistently throwing in its two cents about her BFs every time she goes out. Sorry ‘bout it, hon, but that's what happens when you've got a thing for all the latest studs. That said, I don't think this one is going to be very serious.

Dear Ted:
I was watching some video on True Blood and was wondering how many members of the sexy True Blood cast have Blind Vices. Love ya, Ted!
—Caroline

Dear Obvious:
Do vampires suck blood? Tons! Love ya back!

Dear Ted:
I've been trying to figure out who Sally Pearlsmyth is, and I'm thinking she's more than likely in the late teens or 20s (maybe Disney) set of actresses, but I'm finding it hard to think of any of those gals who haven't already got a Vice. Am I at least looking in the right ballpark?
—Mike

Dear Getting There:
Right age ballpark, wrong amusement park.

Dear Ted:
Hi. Is Cookie Muncher Brooke Shields?
—Elizabeth

Dear Wrong:
No, no. Not at all.

Dear Ted:
Just saw Zooey Deschanel on Chelsea Lately, and she seems so funny and laid-back. Is she as great as she comes across in interviews?
—jencox29

Dear Hipster:
She totally is. The gal is absolutely adorable on all levels. There's not one flaw we could pinpoint. But we feel that's what happens when you are a carefree modern-day hippie like Zooey. There isn't much to hate, just more to love.

Dear Ted:
Ok. I love your column and Blind Vices...very, very good...love the sneaky way you let us know the "real deal" in Hollywood. Would Cookie Muncher be Demi Moore? Also, very sad about the Percy and Sally story. I'm thinking Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel? By the way, if I ever make it out to California, I would love to meet you. Wished I lived closer. Love you Ted!
—Angela in Ohio!

Dear Out-of-State Vicer:
Great to hear from you, hon! Now, onto your guesses. Nope, Demi is not Cookie Muncher. Think way more subtle. As for your guess for the sad exes Percy and Sally, that is one excellent, excellent guess. Too bad it isn't Justin and Jessica. Percy and Sally showed much more affection for each other.

Dear Ted:
I love how you stay on top of LeAnn Rimes and her plea for privacy and yet telling all on Twitter and calling her out on it, but can we stop now (despite her pathetic attempt at proving otherwise)? I think it's time to abandon ship and let her earn her publicity. Please?! I used to love her, but her desperate plea for attention is beyond bearable.
X

Dear Former LeAnn Fan:
Enough said. If you used to love her you obviously hate to see how low she is stooping, no? Well, thing is, we have to stay onto of this issue because her skeletor, copy-cating frame is a problem, despite her tweeting denials. This isn't publicity; it's a cry for major help. Just wish more people actually cared.

Dear Ted:
What are you thinking regarding the Snow White casting? K.Stew may not be a raving beauty, but Lily Collins is downright fugly! How can you possibly make a case for Collins?
—Leigh

Dear Too Harsh:
Damn, that's a statement. Lily is hardly fugly. She's cute, at the very least, especially coming from a father who was not some stud of a man. It does not take a ravishing beauty to play the part, physically—just a pretty, pale face. Good thing, Kristen can act, too. Lily's got some proving to do in that department.

Dear Ted:
Anything to the rumor from Star mag that Brad Pitt is cheating on Angelina Jolie?
—Christina

Dear Seriously:
Star? You must be kidding me with this question. He obviously isn't. Have you not seen what an amazing bitch-daddy he has been this last week. Brad taking care of his family, nothing more and nothing less. And who would have the balls to cheat on that woman? He wouldn't get out alive.

Dear Ted:
What's Morgan Mayhem's situation right now?
—golden_retriever_luva

Dear New Leaf:
Yeah, right. Swearing off the powder is a big step (if it's actually true). But it's time for her to lay off the booze, too. Could be just as bad for a reborn club-hopper like Mayhem, right?

Dear Ted:
Is Aaron Eckhart King Schlong?
—Hokie

Dear Delish:
Nope, but he is still one hot piece of Schlong regardless.

Dear Ted:
Why is there hardly any news or gossip about the newest Superman, Henry Cavill? Is he a man that keeps to himself, or does he posses some sort of superpower at avoiding attention? And to take a page from other stars, will we be seeing more gossip as his star continues to shine? Please share, Ted. My rescued kitties and walking buddies, from a no-kill shelter, and I are eager to know.
—big10minnesota

Dear Cheesy Superpower:
A superpower to avoid any attention? Who would want that? I think it is more that Cavill isn't such a man-ho. You don't see him publicly dating all these celeb women (just yet). But when he starts mingling with those medusas, he'll have plenty of gossip and juice trailing behind. Well, depending on what kind of poison he picks, exactly.

Dear Ted:
I gotta know, is "Sally Pearlsmyth and her equally stunning celeb partner, Percy DuBois" Blake Lively and Penn Badgley? It seems to fit—such a sad situation for both of them.
—Katie

Dear Stylishly Sad:
Why does everyone think the Gossip Girl cast is so Vicey? Probably because they are, just not to this extent.