"You got yourself a feud, motherf--ker."
Thus was the gauntlet thrown Monday by Lost show runner Damon Lindelof to epic fantasy novelist George R.R. Martin, whose Game of Thrones has been adapted by HBO for a new TV series, premiering April 17.
So what got Lindelof so riled that his "therapist just hit the jackpot"?
Referring to an interview Martin gave with the New Yorker as "George's lament," Lindelof responded to comments made by the best-selling author, who said he was terrified he might "do a Lost" and "f--k up" the conclusion of his ongoing Fire and Ice series.
"I don't take issue with his opinion, I take issue with the fact that he coined 'Pulling a Lost' as empirically 'f--king up the ending,'" said Lindelof in another tweet.
Lindelof continued the dispute with a series of tongue-in-cheek "salvos," including a jab at Martin's scraggly beard ("Not to mention, he agreed to say nice things if I sent him Mr. Friendly's beard, which I did") and slow writing process ("I've just been informed George is working on his feud response. I'll have it in FIVE YEARS! #NOYOUDINT").
Although there is no evidence that Martin is crafting any kind of response (or even has a Twitter account, for that matter), he nevertheless does perpetuate the feud (in Lindelof's eyes) via a Time interview posted yesterday, which quotes more complaints by Martin—himself a former TV writer—about Lost:
"When I reached the end and they hadn't pulled it altogether, in fact, they left a big turd on my doorstep," says the author bluntly, "I was pretty upset...it was about the second episode of Lost, I said, 'Oh, they're all dead.' They're all dead. That's what it would be in a half-hour Rod Sterling Twilight Zone, in 1958. And they took what? How many seasons to get to the point where they were all dead?"
This prompted Lindelof's "final thoughts" on the matter. First: "They weren't dead the whole time."
And second? "1997 called. It wants its web design back."
Now that's what you call a satisfying ending.