To be fair, Charlie Sheen had a running start when he landed tonight.
The crowd was already roaring for the actor—who played Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn in Major League, arguably the greatest movie ever about Ohio baseball—when he took the stage Tuesday at Cleveland's State Theatre, the third stop on his polarizing Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option tour.
What do you think "F--k Detroit!" means?
That's what the crowd started chanting as Sheen, clad smartly in a Cleveland Indians jersey over a T-shirt reading "Sheenius," trotted onto the stage, "Wild Thing" pounding through the speakers.
He asked the audience if he could smoke and proceeded to fire up his first cigarette of the show, after which he answered questions from the crowd, including "Where's your coke?!"
"In your pocket," Sheen replied!
The former Two and a Half Men star also handled the hecklers better than during his Motown show. Cleveland Plain-Dealer reporter Andrea Simakis tweeted about not being able to purchase a bottle of water at the theater concession because "Charlie doesn't want you throwing them at him."
He proceeded to really connect with the crowd, expounding on everything from former hometown hero LeBron James ("LeBron is like Superman, but the Superman I knew always came home to Lois Lane") to marijuana ("Now that's winning!" he said, pointing to a patron puffing away in the audience).
"I have been able to spin magic the past couple of weeks," Sheen said, explaining his warlockian powers. "You guys all bought tickets without knowing a damn thing about this show."
But by now, the paying customers had their suspicions.
"Seven-gram rock! Seven-gram rock!" went another of the crowd's charming chants, prompting Sheen to regretfully inform his goddesses that "that was the greatest f--king moment of my life."
Tonight may have been right up there, though, especially when a busty fan removed her tank top to give Sheen an eyeful.
"I've had a ball in Cleveland. I should move here!" he shouted, not long before donning an Indians cap and heading offstage. "Is anyone hiring?!"
In the end, defeat was still not an option.