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    Bitch Back! Who Will Make the Best Elizabeth Taylor?

     Elizabeth Taylor Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    The only one I can think of who has the dignity, the experience and the face to play Elizabeth Taylor is Blair Brown. Did anyone remember her as Jackie O? What a performance! Not to mention And I Alone Survived.
    M

    Dear No Way:
    Are you kidding? Elizabeth was an icon who needs a fresh face to carry on her legacy. Sorry, but Blair Brown—gifted as she very well may be—has no heat. And Taylor was all about fiery independence, even well after she stopped making movies. We need a younger Hollywood take. Somebody who's equal parts talent and rebel. 

    Dear Ted:
    Though Liz Taylor can never truly be replaced, what do you think about either Rachel Weisz or Kate Beckinsale for Cleopatra? Both of these gorgeous English ladies have proven that they can act. Do you agree?
    Jana

    TWITTER: Follow @theawfultruth

    Dear Agreed:
    I like both of these women for the role, but I prefer Beckinsale—for either Elizabeth's life story or Cleopatra. Kate's real-life experiences with men and body image will help her play Elizabeth (or the notoriously ugly, yet oddly seductive) Cleopatra in the most realistic matter. Gal just has to be able to gain weight for the role, and we don't know if Kate is truly up for that transformation. 

    Dear Ted:
    I've been thinking about it, and I think I know who the right Elizabeth Taylor would be. Jennifer Lopez. Here me out: She can act. She's a diva. She's one of the most beautiful women in the world. She can also do Elizabeth's skin tone and eyebrows (think J.Lo as Selena). What do you think?
    Martha

    Dear J.Lo No Go:
    Sorry, doll, but no. J.Lo is too concerned with building her own empire to put all the effort into the Taylor role. Plus, while both gals are iconic divas, Elizabeth had a softness about her that Jennifer doesn't possess. Jen's desperately ambitious maneuverings and Bronx-bitch-on-wheels ‘tude clash with Taylor's effortless style (despite the billions in diamonds she always wore) and all the whatever feelings she had about the movie biz.

    Dear Ted:
    I am a huge fan of the Hunger Games books. But come on, are these casting choices a joke? Could they honestly not find a single decent actor for a lead role who even somewhat resembles the descriptions in the book? I honestly have no desire to see any future H.G. movie anymore. What is going on?!
    T

    Dear Hungry for Better Hunger Games:
    We partially agree. We were skeptical with Jennifer Lawrence, as well, but give the gal a chance! After all, she totally transformed herself (into a much uglier version) for Winter's Bone, and the girl did receive an Oscar nom. Her casting may not be as spot-on as we would all like it to be, but we have faith that Jennifer will be able to pull this one off and totally wow us in the end. Ditto on Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson, who are both growing on me.

    Dear Ted:
    I hope Lindsay Lohan goes to jail when she goes back to court this month. Too bad there isn't an aiding/abetting idiocy law in California, or she could get a double cell with her f--king loser mother. Mother's Day is just around the corner, Ted. I think you should have people vote for "The Biggest Loser of a Mother" award. I'd love to personally volunteer to deliver/shove it.
    Miss P

    Dear Lohan Hater:
    Wow, harsh words for LiLo. The reality is Lindsay is surrounded with so many enablers, family included, who only support her bad decisions. Lindsay's antics may annoy the crap outta us, but all we really want is for the girl to get better. Talent doesn't disappear, and all we can hope is that Linds will start making better decisions sometime in her life. Have more heart, babe.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Cookie Muncher Heidi Klum?
    T

    Dear Awfully Close:
    No.

    Dear Ted:
    I had suggested it before, and would dare to suggest it again: Joe Manganiello should definitely do a remake for The Last of the Mohicans! Imagine the hotness. Would you be able to stand all that almost nakedness? Also, not bad on the acting chops. And maybe—don't laugh—we can give that Megan Fox another chance and she could be the female lead. Can you imagine the hotness of that couple on the big screen? What can we do to make this happen? I am tooting a bit my own horn, but weren't you the great one who posted my suggestion in October 2009 for filming Breaking Dawn back-to-back, à la Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2?
    Rita

    Dear Super Hot, No Talent:
    You're right; those two would bring a whole lotta hotness to the big screen, and yes, I did propose filming the supposedly final two Twi flicks together. Problem is, it takes more than good looks to get our butts to the theater—and a remake of The Last of the Mohicans? Well, it would have to really wow us. Definitely don't think Fox has the talent to pull off the role, though.

    Dear Ted:
    Just curious if any of the fine-looking men on House are Blind Vice candidates? Maybe working on their bedside manners offscreen as well as on? Sweet little Sophie, who was a stray and now owns the house, and I are just dying to know!
    Pixie from Dixie

    Dear On-Call Concern:
    Yep, but only one or two.

    Dear Ted:
    Is King Schlong George Clooney?
    A

    Dear King-Size:
    Hmmm. Not sure, but maybe George would like us to think so?

    Dear Ted:
    Do you really think that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are really good actors? Honestly?
    Jenna

    Dear More After Twilight:
    Yes, I really do have faith in both Rob and Kris onscreen. Both actors are very committed to the craft and have said they have grown weary of the cheesy Twilight writing. I think the movies, not the actors, are to blame for any sort of misrepresentation. Bottom line? Rob and Kris both have bright futures after Twilight, and I anticipate (ever more) spectacular performances from them both in upcoming films.

    READ: More Bitch-Backs here!

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