From the files of the Life Isn't Fair Department...
Upon inviting her to campus to talk about her, uh, craft, Rutgers University learned that Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi wouldn't come cheap.
And yet, she was invited anyway...
In fact, the Jersey Shore star collected a $32,000 appearance fee for "Inside the Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Studio," the money coming from the Rutgers University Programming Association, which puts on educational, cultural, social and recreational events for the student body,
Not that Rutgers students aren't entitled to entertainment! The RUPA has engaged speakers such as Padma Lakshmi and Ralph Nader, musical acts like Lupe Fiasco and Third Eye Blind, and the comedic stylings of The Soup maestro Joel McHale.
It's that Snooki got $32,000 to talk. Out loud.
"The students canvassed for who they wanted here and had the funds available," Rutgers spokesman Steve Manas told Reuters.
The two free shows at the Livingston Student Center drew at least 1,000 people despite some complaints about RUPA's use of the money, the $32,000 being $2,000 more than Rutgers is paying Nobel Prize winner Toni Morrison to give this year's commencement speech. (The president and Michelle Obama are giving three commencement addresses apiece this season, and they're getting nothing! Which, of course, is only right.)
Comedian Adam Ace asked the questions and Snooki answered, offering up such insight as, "The poof is its own living form, it's my trademark but people always expect it...It's a summer hairstyle, so if I want to Snook the night, I'll wear the poof," according to Rutgers' Daily Targum newspaper.
Snooki—who, to be fair, is a best-selling novelist thanks to The Shore Life—also revealed that she buys hairspray and bronzer once a week and that "the only real way to get away from the camera is showering, so we take really long showers."
But what really makes Snooki tick?
"I'd honestly say...being tan," she said. "When you're tan, you feel better."
Really, you can't put a price on that sort of information.