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Charlie Sheen, Natalie Kenly

GSI Media

It's not a question of if. It's not a question of when. It's a question of how. 

How can the Charlie Sheen saga jump the shark so many times!? And in just one week!? 

Here's how:

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 1: The Webcast premiere.

Per its own proprietor, Sheen's Korner was "treasonous." Per your own judgment, it was a reminder that winning wasn't always pretty. Or entertaining. Or, frankly, even winning.

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 2: The firing.

He fought the law, and the law won. End of story. (Oh, if only…)

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 3: The Jon Cryer insult.

This is where Sheen lost at least some of his own Two and a Half Men fans—not to mention most Brat Pack loyalists. 

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 4: The Funny or Die video.

When you revert to self-parody, you're as relevant as the second or third sequel in a big-screen franchise. When you revert to self-parody that isn't especially clever, you're Mark Zuckerberg on Saturday Night Live (minus his billions and his brain cells).

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 5: The lawsuit.

Remember when it was all fun and goddesses and tiger blood? Now it's all attorneys and causes of action and cash. Boring.

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 6: The "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour.

Arguably, the defining jump-the-shark manuever will come when the tickets don't sell, the seats don't fill and/or the star doesn't show.

Shark-Jumping Moment No. 7: The disaster in Japan

The real world called. It said, "Remember me? Now shut off that Webcast!"