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    Charlie Sheen Says the Darndest Things!

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    Charlie Sheen
    Charlie Sheen ABC NEWS

    Who knew that, lurking beneath the surface of Two and a Half Men, there was a talent of such epic proportion that anyone would be crazy to doubt Charlie Sheen's ability to heal in two days, deliver perfection every time and bring onlookers to their knees with his sheer Charlie Sheenness?

    Charlie Sheen, that's who!

    The guy whose daily routine would melt a normal person's face off has provided us with a career's worth of material in just a couple short weeks, some of it high and all of it mighty.

    So hang onto your butts and savor a slew of Sheen's potent quotables!

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    GALLERY: Charlie Sheen turns quote machine

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