In case you were too busy to dig into every second of your Soup blog, let's sample the chunks that have floated to the top.
Don't stop now, kids. Four more to go!
2. The Bachelor: As wife pickin' time draws ever closer, Brad Womack's got to make some serious decisions. Like when he's going to switch his respect from Emily's dead fiancé to Emily's living fun bags.
3. Brad Womack: Remember Chantal? The Bachelor babe who happily removed her bikini top for the swim suit photo shoot? This week, Brad discovered she also likes to stay at home. On the couch. Drinking beer. Can't he just send the rest of them packing now?
4. Live With Regis and Kelly: When Jersey Shore's Snooki drops by, we discover something interesting. Apparently the thought of, say, a colonoscopy without anesthesia is slightly preferable to Reeg than sex with Deena.
5. Outrageous Kid Parties: Spoiled, shallow, horrible young women are not just born that way, they're created from spoiled, shallow, horrible little girls. Let's take a look at exactly how the fun process works.