In The Closet: Paris Hilton

Paris is rotten in Denmark

We don’t know where to begin discussing the outfit Paris Hilton chose to cavort throughout Copenhagen in, so we’ll work our way top to bottom. Pare-poo’s Marilyn Monroe-inspired curls are fer sure superior to the blond-blech wig Lindsay wore while spitting all over M2’s grave during her infamous New York mag photospread. But the fancy updo doesn’t work while just walking around on the street, sweetie.

The glum mustard colored tracksuit is sickly and unsightly—and you guys were complaining about our yellow background? At least our's is a springtime shade and fits us—they don’t have tailors in Denmark? Stop schlepping your too-long pant legs all over the city and slide into something more stylish—we know ya must have something in the 20 bags of luggage you hauled over. Or how ‘bout borrowing one of Tinkerbell’s getups? Would be more effective, we’re sure.