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Glee-Dux: Teen Drinking Is Very Bad, and Who Gave Mr. Schue a Cowboy Hat?

Glee, Heather Morris Adam Rose/FOX

Cheers, Gleeks! We got through quite the eventful episode together. And by eventful, I mean full of people puking and riding bulls. Add Will Schuester in a cowboy hat, and we've got ourselves a lot of recapping to do.

Still feeling tipsy after watching all the New Directions kids throw back a few? Hold onto something steady to stop the spins and let's try and decipher what went down in "Blame It on the Alcohol."

MORE: TV's top couples 2011: Vote for your fave in our elite eight round!

WHAT WE LEARNED

Popping Bottles Is a Good Idea: The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza (its full name) was pure comedy Glee gold. Once I got past Rachel's creepy nightgown/dress disaster, I decided that we'll always need more drunk Blaine, that Santana is scarier sober, and that the Berry basement is awesome. And in case anyone is wondering, my drunk girl category is somewhere between "weepy, hysterical drunk" and "girl who becomes stripper when drunk." See? Learning new things is fun.

Sue, Will and Emma Scenes are Always Amazing: I'm not sure if it's just because it's so season one-esque, but Sue dissing Will and calling Emma "Ella" is downright hilarious. Every. Single. Time. And who doesn't love a little Will and Emma interaction to set the tone for Holly's return in two weeks? Also, I am totally in love with the fact that Sue pushed the Aural Intensity coach down the stairs not once, but twice. Regionals, here we come.

Glee, Matt Morrison Mike Yarish/FOX

Sharing Is Caring: Getting Will Schuester drunk leads to a declaration of feelings...among other things. After grading papers while hammered (which wasn't the most thought-out idea he's ever had), Will went and drunk-dialed someone whom he thought was Emma. You know the old saying that "a drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts"? Well, by that law, Will still loves Emma—or at least he wants to roll around in some hay with her. And who else caught the little Grease reference from Sue and Becky when they took over the intercom?

Rachel and Blaine Were Not the Worst Couple Ever: That Rachel-Blaine kiss had some heat, and "Don't You Want Me" was downright amazing. I know Finchel fans are already sharpening their pitchforks as I say this...but I kind of loved Blaine and Rachel together.  After all, when's the last time Finn made Rachel say "your face tastes awesome?" Sure, it didn't work out. But those two being together led to Blaine's reassurance that he's 100 percent gay. Good news for Kurt-Blaine fans! #onestepcloser

HeMo Continues To Be a Badass: "Tik Tok" was my favorite number of the episode, mostly because Heather Morris owned that Kesha song. Or as both Figgins and I refer to her as: Ke-dollar sign-ha. Glad the Glee kids tackled that jam, because it's due time. After all, Ke$ha's been an "icon for weeks."

Burt and Kurt Make TV Magic: We kind of already knew this, but the scene in the kitchen just cemented how much we love to see Mike O'Malley and Chris Colfer work together. It's always a perfect blend of genuine emotion and awkward comedy.

Glee Michael Yarish/FOX

WHAT LIES AHEAD

It's About to Get Sexy: The next episode is called..."Sexy." But we also get the return of John Stamos and Gwyneth Paltrow, who aren't too hard on the eyes. Also, Emma is going to head up the school's celibacy club (bring back the balloon exercise!), which could mean that her bedroom activities with her new husband aren't exactly smoking hot. Enter Mr. Schue to fix that right up?

And if you need a visual, John posted a promo pic from the episode, which features Puck and Carl in powder-blue shirts as part of a…jazz ensemble? Hot.

Education Makes People More Smarter: Will and Holly will be teaching the kids about sex and safety, which will lead one of the New Directioners to make a revelation. And that discovery is a pretty awesome callback to season one.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Glee Fox Broadcasting

The Moment Wemma Fans Have Been Waiting For: Holly and Will cozying up does not sit well with the redhead. It does not sit well at all. And why not add an ex-wife into the mix? I wouldn't be surprised if Terri popped up soon.

Brittana Love: Holly won't just be ruffling Emma's feathers, she'll also be playing a part in Brittany and Santana exploring their friendship/relationship a little deeper. Don't expect a heated make-out session between the gals, but maybe a progression of sorts.

Original Songs: Rachel begged for it during "Comeback," and according to the track listing for Glee: The Music, Volume 5, two original songs are coming up! "Loser Like Me" will be an ensemble piece, and "Get It Right" is a solo performed by, who else, Lea Michele. These songs will debut in the March 15 episode, titled "Original Song."

Still fighting a hangover? Pop some aspirin and head downstairs to the comments so you all can speculate, beg for Finchel to reunite, and all that jazz. See you right back here in two weeks!

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