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    Bitch-Back! Miley and Mayer: a Match Made in Stupid!

    Miley Cyrus, John Mayer Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Jason Merritt/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    Miley Cyrus
    and John Mayer? While it makes a certain sense, isn't he like 15 years older than her?
    —me

    Dear Underage Enabler:
    Heard this; hoping it's not true. The last thing that girl needs is to be tied to this stinky heartbreaker. Taylor Swift , anybody? At least Tay could get out of that sitch with a song instead of a full-on scratch on her reputation. Miley won't make it after Mayer, fact. If, indeed, they are shacking up. Plus, Billy Ray might blame him for the breakup backlash later. That family has enough to deal with.

    Dear Ted:
    You say that Lea Michele's Glee costars are doing far worse things. Do you have any examples? I really hope it's not Dianna or Cory. They seem so nice and down-to-earth.
    —M

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    Dear Fear the Glee:
    I mean that Lea is more of a diva than an addict of sorts. The girl is pretty squeaky-clean when it comes to the really bad stuff. Still, pretty sure it hurts her more that the cast finds her a handful of diva (as overused as it is) than anything else. As for Dianna and Cory, they aren't the worst of the bunch, and if you can't decipher the Vice on that sitcom, you haven't been watching for long.

    Dear Ted:
    What happened to Josh Hartnett? For a minute he was everywhere; then he just disappeared and Jake Gyllenhaal stole his thunder. Is it drink or drugs?
    —mimi

    Dear Remember Me:
    Josh has slipped off the radar for many reasons, romantic being one of them I'm sure. I mean, that's always the final straw for most of these heartthrobs. What girl wants to swoon over a taken stud, right? Anyway, you're right about Jake. He's stolen Josh's thunder in more ways than one, best believe. Poor dude.

    Dear Ted:
    I have fallen in love with Darren Criss on Glee! He seems like such a sweetheart and so down-to-earth. Is he all that he appears?
    —Emma

    Dear Crushing on Criss:
    Why is it that every Gleek describes almost every single member of the cast as down-to-earth? Since when did that become their synonym? I mean, not fully hating it because, honestly, a lot of the Glee cast is super cool, but Darren is a relatively new addition. While he seems like such a doll onscreen, let's wait to see what he has to offer (or not offer) off the screen.

    Dear Ted:
    Almost the entire gossip world lit up this week with the story that Ryan Phillippe "hit up" Rihanna at a Grammy party when he asked what she was doing later. Where do you think such an inflated response to such an innocuous remark comes from? And supposedly he's "dumped" Amanda Seyfried. It's like all the haters hang on Ryan's every word and every embrace. It is so bizarre.
    —Patricia

    Dear Reading Into It:
    The Chris Brown and Rihanna fiasco pre-Grammy's was extremely sad to say the least, but it's time everyone moves on, like they have. Saying Ryan was being literal when he said he would "hit up" Rihanna is beyond pushing it. Come on, she didn't take it that way and nobody else should, either. As for him and Amanda, she told paps on camera Thursday that they are just friends and that the Rihanna story was so effing not true. Bitter or what? Plus, onlookers at the Grammy brunch reported that RiRi was pretty uninterested in the dude, anyway, so there.

    Dear Ted:
    Andrew Garfield
    . Vicey, Nicey or Both? And any new goss? I don't want this awards season to end, as, man, that Brit looks good in a suit.
    —Kate

    Dear Vice or Nice:
    We're obsessing over this Brit. He is too cute for words (especially, as you say, in a suit!) and even if he did have a Vice (which he doesn't, nor do we predict one anytime soon), his nice ass would cancel out his dirty dish.

    Dear Ted:
    Justin Bieber
    has said that he thinks sex before marriage is OK. Is he practicing what he preaches?
    —Bastiaan

    Dear Bieber Between the Sheets:
    While I'm all about Bieber and how amazingly cute and talented he is, his premarital sex business with Selena (or whomever) is someone else's situation to deal with. If he and the GF are really getting it on, good for them.

    Dear Ted:
    We all know Christina Aguilera has daddy issues since growing up in an abusive household. She seems the type of girl that can never be single. She was with her back-up dancer in a serious relationship when she first started, then was with Jordan Bratman since 2002. Then when she announced she was getting divorced a couple of days later she started dating her new boy-toy Matt. Will Christina ever be happy living the single life; she should take some notes from Jennifer Aniston and just focus on herself, her kid and then her music career. Am I right?
    —alvarenga_b

    Dear Therapist:
    You are too right, hon! While X-tina has some killer vocals, those haywire emotions, and relationships, of hers need to be toned down. Aniston herself had daddy issues, remember? She got through them, so should Christina.

    Dear Ted:
    Has Jo Frost ever been a Blind Vice? I hope not! I love her to pieces but I've always wondered if, because she made Supernanny, she developed any diva habits. Also, you write about so many blatant gay stars married to straight people, I have to wonder, do their spouses know? If so, why do they stay in the relationship?
    —paperkite03

    Dear Vicin' Around:
    Are you kidding? She was a diva coming into that show, and with reason. Did you see the nutso parents and kids she's had to deal with? But she's never been a Vice star. And about the gay stars marrying the straight: It depends. Some spouses know and some don't. It's more of a contract than anything else at times. You know, in Hollywood it's all interest all the time, as sad as it sounds.

    Dear Ted:
    I just found out on Miranda Kerr's Facebook page that little Flynn Christopher was named after her first boyfriend Flynn Christopher who died in a car crash when Miranda was 17. Orlando Bloom must really love her and be secure in their love to agree to that. It's really sort of uncool of her I think. What do you think?
    —co0ftroy

    Dear BFs and Babies:
    Wow, talk about keeping a sad memory alive. It's a little weird and touching at the same time, I feel. Orlando seems like the sensitive type, so I'm guessing it doesn't affect him too much, but still it's like there's a ghost in the room or something. Creepy.

    Dear Ted:
    In all your years doing the gossip when a couple is all lovey-dovey with one another in public, it's quite a different story in private. For example Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. They are nauseating on the red carpets. Would it be a different story in private?
    —Bunny

    Dear Gag Me:
    It's almost always a different story in private, as it certainly is with these two.

    Dear Ted:
    You say Matthew Morrison doesn't have an ounce of diva, but I don't believe it! He sure seems confident in his lady-killing abilities—not to mention his musical talent. I love the guy, but I think there's some diva in the dude. Can you dish a little more on him? Anything Vicey going on? My rescues Giles, Angel, Stella and Smacky send their love!
    —Thal

    Dear Diva or Dude:
    Wish I could give you something to pout about, but the Glee frontrunner is so loved by those castmates of his that I don't think we'll ever get to the dirt past their dealing with Lea on set. Still, I'm crossing my fingers that one of these days Lea will just lose it and go on a crazy rant about each and every one of her frienemies. Kisses to all your lovely rescues, hon!

    Dear Ted:
    I was watching Valentine's Day the other night and it suddenly hit me. Is Super-Duper Cooper Jamie Foxx? Am I hot or cold?
    —Elsa
     

    Dear Ice Cold:
    How random is this? While I totally appreciate your attempt, Cooper is somewhat subtler than Mr. Foxx. Pretty sure Jamie would share his sexscapades—with the entire world. Also, those antics of his are only slightly cleaner. Happy president's weekend!

    MORE: Enjoy President's Day Weekend with some juicy Bitch-Backs!

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