Bitch-Back! Rob & Kristen and Tom & Ted!

Much silliness ensues in the madcap romantic adventure of Robsten’s set

By Ted Casablanca Feb 17, 2011 11:29 AMTags
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Dear Ted:
You've seen all the pics right? They are of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart at Tom Sturridge's cousin's wedding this past August. Rob took her as his date, and based on the pics, they were super affectionate toward each. Rob is not humping Tom or vice versa. Tom would be jealous of Kristen otherwise, and he's anything but. In fact, the way he talks about her, you'd think Tom was in love with Kristen, too. It's a shame how you have turned on these kids in the past few years. How very sad you have come to look because of it. Bitterness and cynicism will eat away at you if you allow it. Just a friendly word of advice.
C

Dear Bitter Over Robsten:
What are you on over there, C? You are the one bringing TomStu into all this? Yes, I've seen the pics; they are adorable of Rob and Kristen, but it's sad they can't even go to a friend's wedding without being friend papped, so I won't link them here. Tom and Kristen are super tight, as are Rob and Tom (and Rob and Kristen, but in a different way, duh). Think you are writing your own fan fiction here.

Dear Ted:
What is your honest opinion of Lea Michele? I myself love her even if she is a bit of a diva. She sure has the talent to back it up. Do you think she deserved the kinda harsh treatment from the Glee cast at the Grammys?
F

Dear Lea Lover:
Lea has incredible talent, and we can't deny that we love watching her on Glee. Problem is, this isn't the Lea Michele show like she may think, and perhaps the other Gleeks are getting pretty tired of it seeming that way. Divaness aside, we still love L.M. The gal is a super talent, triple threat and drop-dead gorgeous. Bonus: Her attitude always gives us tons to goss about! Some of her costars are doing far, far worse things.

Dear Ted:
You know the saying "history repeats itself"? Well is that happening with the Cyrus clan? Billy Ray Cyrus came out and said that Hannah Montana ruined his family and that Miley is out of control—sounds like a move right out of the Michael Lohan book. Is the Cyrus clan the new Lohan clan?
Faye

Dear History Repeating:
Funny you should ask. We were really hoping this clan wasn't full of crazies, especially after how maturely Miley handled the Salvia incident. That said, it seems we can add Billy Ray to the list of fame-hungry fathers (congrats, Michael Lohan and Joe Simpson) who constantly talk family in the tabloids. The way he went about expressing his concern was inappropriate.

Dear Ted:
I completely agree with you on the Michael Vick thing. I will be the first to admit that I'm not an animal person. It's not that I dislike them. I just don't want them as pets, but that doesn't mean that I could be mean to them. My oldest son had a friend whose family just up and left town, leaving their pit bull behind chained in a garage. When my son came home and told me this I was so enraged. So we went and got the dog and kept her until we found her a new home. We've also done the same for stray cats. Vick doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt in my book. Thanks for letting me rant. Love ya.
Tinamarie

Dear Dog Days Are Over:
Totally on the same page! Vick is not a good guy; he just has a great PR team. Unfortunately for us, the coward canceled on Oprah. We suspect she wasn't going to let him off so easy. Maybe Dr. Phil will have better luck at trying to wrangle Vick for doggy schooling, oh wait, that will never work, so who could get through to this freak?

Dear Ted:
You've confused me again! In your recent piece about Johnny Depp's press junket for Rango, you made the comment that Angelina Jolie is a "mirror image of himself." What on earth are you suggesting? The way I see it, Jolie is an icy, calculating, self-obsessed media manipulator, whereas Johnny has always come off as gracious, self-deprecating and friendly in his interviews. He's done a fantastic job of staying out of the tabloids as he's gotten older. And he has turned his back on all of that H'wood nonsense by living quietly in Europe, away from the glare. I fail to see any similarities between these two, aside from their mega stardom. Won't you enlighten us?
Jenny W

Dear Team Aniston:
That may be your view on Angelina, but it's not how she is. Super private, with a few secrets from the past is more what I'm talking about. And the way they both handle their celebrity—off the cuff, coolly.

Dear Ted:
What was going on between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at the Grammys? They were totally awkward onstage while presenting Record of the Year!
R

Dear Latin Lovers:
Awkward, very. The teleprompter did go out on J.Lo in the middle, though, so that's why they stumbled there for a bit. But their interaction after was a bit odd, yes. And we're hardly surprised. Lotsa family secrets there. Lopez looked phenom, though!

Dear Ted:
Thanks for telling us all that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are a PR couple. You stated yesterday: "As long as the onscreen romance is yummy, so is the offscreen. No need to worry, just yet." So you're stating that once B.D. is over, so are Rob and Kristen? See, there are some smart posters who knew they were only PR.
Pam

Dear Robsten Rumors:
Never said the romance was a PR stunt; there you Nonsten's go twisting words. All we implied is that they have the exact same schedule right now, aka lots of hang time. It will be harder when they go their separate ways after Breaking Dawn. They could be filming in different countries for all we know. I'm not one to count Robsten out though. They've done distance before. 

Dear Ted:
Rumor has it that Angelina Jolie may have suffered a breakdown. What's the word around your neck of the woods?
L

Dear Crazy for Crazies:
Angelina is in a new rumor every week. I can't keep track anymore. Let's just say, if she were going through a hard time, you wouldn't be hearing about it. Make sense?

Dear Ted:
Is LeAnn Rimes really a troll? I'm following her on Twitter, and although she does spill overmuch about her life, she seems sweet. Am I being duped, or is she really the evil "other woman" she is being painted to be? I mean, we all make mistakes. She made one by having an affair, but does that make her the worst person ever? Just asking.
S

Dear Evil Woman:
True, ending a marriage doesn't make someone the worst person ever, especially in Hollywood. What does? Tweeting about it nonstop, throwing it in the former wife's face and using the affair to catapult to stardom. Our take? LeAnn's tweets are about as fake as her breasts. The gal simply loves the spotlight and will do anything to keep all eyes on her. 

Dear Ted:
What's up with Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter? Any insight, any Blind Vices, any chance they will get married?
D

Dear Hot Couple Alert:
This couple's as strong as ever, but they are both super quick to shut down marriage rumors. The funny thing about Hollywood love? The more adamantly you deny it, the greater chance it might be true. Besides, this couple is too hot to deny us future tots! No Vices for them. Still will be shocked if they ever make it down an aisle.

Dear Ted:
I see magazine covers that say Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett are over? Is it true? I love them, they are a great couple.
Tiara

Dear Go Kendra:
Only hear of smooth sailing with this gorgeous couple. Let's hope it stays that way? Too much breaking up going on.

Dear Ted:
Wanted to mention two wholly separate things: Just read The New Yorker piece on Scientology and Paul Haggis. Some pretty damning stuff! How culpable is Tom Cruise? And how much of it is willful blindness? Also, a suggestion: Can you start a separate post of Twilight and Robsten stuff? Even in Bitch-Backs? So those of us who love it can skip right to it, and those of us that aren't really into it can skip right pass it? Thanks much!
Ni

Dear Scientology Smackdown:
Halfway through that New Yorker piece on Scientology myself, totally fascinating. Tom is privately peeved as crap about it, this I know. And there will be fallout, trust. How much depends entirely on how successful upper-tier Scientologists are in helping it all blow over, which is what they're desperately angling for. As to Robsten, sorry, no-go. We are a family here at A.T., brats, babes ‘n' all!