You can call him "Dr. Bieber" now.
"People say it's artistic and stuff. I'm just like, ‘You're an egg,'" Justin Bieber, who made his Grammy performance debut Sunday but went home 0-for-2, told Chelsea Handler tonight when asked what he thought of Lady Gaga's grand entrance. "She was probably just trying to save her voice or something, she didn't want to talk to a lot of people."
"You're like a psychologist, aren't you?" the Chelsea Lately host deadpanned.
But what Bieber is not is a Grammy winner for Best New Artist, and he described what that felt like as he made the talk-show rounds...
"Yeah. I'm not going to lie," the 16-year-old said when Chelsea asked if he was bummed about losing. "People were expecting me to say something else, but I'm disappointed.
"I'm really excited for her. She worked hard," Bieber quickly added, presumably referring to jazz artist Esperanza Spalding.
(Everyone's harping on Best New Artist, but he also lost Pop Vocal Album to Lady Gaga. And for the record, he wasn't a fan of her meat dress, either. "I thought both were weird," he said of the beef couture and the egg.)
Bieber expressed a similar sentiment in a Conan interview later.
"It was definitely disappointing," he said, adding this time, "It's great to even be nominated and have that, it's amazing. We'll get ‘em next year."
So his youthful dreams haven't been entirely crushed yet.
Though he's thinking of changing up the famous 'do to a Conan O'Brien coiffure—"It's so aerodynamic," Bieber noted—the teen said that there's really nothing he can do to keep his young-and-loud fans from going crazy around him.
"When a girl cries, it's like, ‘I don't know why you're crying. You should be happy, smile. Don't cry!'" he said.
The poor kid is even sick of Sour Patch Kids candy, which used to be his favorite, after revealing that he loved it and fans started pelting him with the sugar-coated gummy candies in concert.
And at first Bieber didn't want to reveal his new favorite candy, but Conan coaxed it out of him.
"You know those marshmallow Peeps?" Bieber asked and was promptly answered when a deluge of yellow Peeps rained down upon him from above.
"I'm really glad it wasn't something like fudge," chimed in Andy Richter.