All right, then. That makes three.
But today was the day for Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller, as a Los Angeles Superior Court judge signed off on the long-estranged couple's divorce. But don't count Sheen as single just yet—this being Charlie, after all, there is naturally a hitch…
While the divorce was granted today, the duo won't officially be divorced until May 2. The wait time is standard in California, which declares that divorces can only become official six months after the first party files. As it happens, both Sheen and Mueller both submitted divorce papers to the courts back on Nov. 2 of last year.
As for Mueller, she has long been separated from Sheen, after the Two and a Half Men star was arrested and jailed for attacking her on Christmas Day 2009. They tied the knot on May 30, 2008, and have twin sons, Bob and Max, who turn 2 next month.
Incidentally, according to documents filed, Sheen will be paying Mueller a whopping $55,000 per month in child support, the same amount he's currently shelling out to Denise Richards for their two girls, Sam and Lola. The paperwork also contains the stipulation that under no circumstances will the amount of child support Sheen pays Richards exceed what he's paying Mueller.
No wonder he's so eager to get back on set.
"The sum received by Denise for child support shall be the minimum sum that Brooke shall receive for Bob and Max," the document reads. "Brooke does not have the assets, earning capacity or earnings that Denise has. Bob and Max do not have the trust funds that Sam and Lola have. Therefore, they shall never receive less in monthly child support."
In addition, Mueller (who signed a prenup prior to the vow swap) will also walk away from the marriage with a couple of parting gifts: namely, a 2009 Mercedes, $1.2 million to buy out her share of their Beverly Hills marital home (which Chuckles is keeping; Mueller and the kids are heading to Los Feliz) and a lump sum payment of nearly $758,000. The duo will split all profits earned from baby photos sold to the media, and Mueller waived her right to ever seek spousal support.
The couple will share joint legal custody of their boys, with physical custody going to Brooke. Charlie was granted visitation rights three weekends a month.
The takeaway here? Come this spring, Sheen—with his history of abuse of women, drugs and alcohol—will be a free and single man. Form an orderly line, ladies.
—Additional reporting by Claudia Rosenbaum