The words "pot," "kettle" and "black" come to mind. Also the words "do not mess up the national anthem on Sarah Palin's watch."
In any case, lines were drawn late yesterday afternoon, when Us Weekly posted some incendiary, xenophobic and just plain mean criticisms that Palin allegedly lobbed at Super Bowl flubber Christina Aguilera for the apparently unforgivable sin of forgetting her lines. What, Palin's the only one allowed to go rogue?
Supposedly speaking to fellow conservative Sean Hannity's radio show, the former governor was not only credited with calling Aguilera a "demanding beauty queen who's clearly in over her head," but also said the singer was an "airhead diva" and, the intolerant pièce de résistance, called America's onetime pop princess a "foreigner with a poor grasp of the English language."
She also reportedly went on to say that "spicy Latin princesses" such as Aguilera should not be allowed to sing at big old red, white and blue events. But could Sarah have really uttered these bizarre slams? Hold on to your constitutions, this rumor is…
So false! In fact, we can see Us Weekly's pants on fire from our house!
Neither side has yet issued a denial, but that's probably because neither needs to. As the site Gossip Cop first reported, the supposed quotes from Palin never came from her mouth, and were in fact part of a satirical piece written for the comedy site SuperTuesdayNews.com.
(To get a taster of what we're dealing with, other articles written on the satirical site this past week include "President Obama caught leaning under the sneeze guard at seafood buffet," "There's only one way to skin a Ke$ha," and "Palin to Egypt: 'Stop turnin' folks into mummies!'")
Us Weekly was the only outlet unable to miss the tongue that was firmly implanted in the site's cheek and ran the quotes as legit. In fact, while Monday's Sean Hannity radio show did indeed touch upon the Super Bowl, Palin was not even a guest.
Which means she could not possibly have said the following:
"If I were president, I'd deport Ms. Aguilera back to wherever it is she's from and give Amy Smart a call." Incidentally, where Ms. Aguilera is from is New York. And Amy Smart is not exactly culturally relevant. Or known for her great pipes.
Regardless, the magazine seemed to realize its mistake quickly enough, as the story has since been removed from the site. But not before it was screen-captured for posterity.