Aside from the occasional photographic scandal, Facebook snafu and Camille Grammer interview, this week was one big baby shower.
Seven--count 'em, seven!--new babies are on the way. Combine those with the field of seeds already planted over the last month, and we're looking at the biggest baby boom since octomom.
And that's the kind of news that we love to report and you know it's fun to read. Here's a recap of all the baby news, plus everything else you need to know from the week just past:
BABY BOOM: Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's not-so-little one arrived...Six days ago Owen Wilson revealed he was going to be a dad, and now he is one!...John Travolta and Kelly Preston present son Ben for the first time...Kate Hudson will see what sort of a dad Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy frontman is going to be...Victoria and David Beckham are expecting their fourth beautiful baby...Selma Blair and designer beau Jason Bleick are going to give parenthood a try...Alicia Silverstone and hubby Christopher Jarecki are having their first...Jewel and Ty Murray are ready to wrangle their own calf...Tia Mowry awaiting her first with hubby Cory Hardrict...Marion Cotillard and beau Guillaume Canet are going to be mère and père.
A BOY AND HIS MOM: We were still mildly traumatized by Stephanie Seymour's big tongue kiss with Axl Rose in the "November Rain" video, and now this! But while naysayers made a big deal about the former supermodel's son smooching her on the mouth, prompting an indignant defense from 18-year-old Peter Brant II, we were more skeeved by the breast graze. Lip locks between men, women and relatives of all stripes are more of a continental practice but are actually quite normal, even between mother and son. But we thought only evil step-moms got the boob treatment.
LOOSE LIPS: On the eve of the episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in which Camille Grammer gets the Dear Jane phone call from Kelsey Grammer, Camille didn't stop talking about how she's been wronged, how Bravo's editing has made her look like a bitch, how Kelsey "wasn't into sex that much." So what does he do? He brings their kids and the 29-year-old who's going to be his new wife to The Late Show With David Letterman. Now there's something that burns worse than a chemical peel.
IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE...: No, it's "Mr. Golden Voice" Ted Williams (not the ballplayer), and though he seemingly came out of nowhere, now he's everywhere! Including rehab, after Dr. Phil McGraw encouraged him to get help after a run-in with one of his estranged daughters landed Williams temporarily in custody. Afterward he may go work as an announcer for the Cleveland Cavaliers, who need something, anything, to get them going in these post-LeBron days.
KARDASHIAN KORNER: Why does Kourtney think she has mental problems?...Kim explains why her lips looked bigger all of a sudden and talks family planning...Kim and Kourtney dispel the latest round of Khloé pregnancy rumors.
YOU'RE A TROUBLED MAN, CHARLIE SHEEN: Another round of Sheen antics, which allegedly started with porn stars at the AVN Awards and a round of shots in Vegas and culminated in an ear infection that made him a day late to the Two and a Half Men set, has the folks at CBS concerned. Finally. (And there's your proof—sometimes, what happens in Vegas goes home with you.)
FACECROOK: A hacker who went to the Kanye West School of Caps Lock took temporary control over Selena Gomez's Facebook page. Does the hacker think Justin Bieber "SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" because of this pre-Selena picture?
SKIN GRAFT: Eva Longoria assures that her tattoos, even the one referring to Tony Parker, are all accounted for. Because god forbid she get that one removed.
FAREWELLS: David Nelson, actor, director and "the older of the Nelson boys," as the opening credits of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet presented him, died of colon cancer at 74...John Dye, star of Touched by an Angel, died of heart failure at 47...Peter Yates, Oscar-nominated director of Breaking Away and Bullitt, died at 82 after a long illness.
TV LAND: Sarah Palin's Alaska won't get a chance to reload...Piers Morgan kicks off his run on CNN with this Oprah Winfrey bombshell...Lots more Big Bang Theory on tap...The latest Celebrity Apprentice cast includes plenty of whosits and whatsits galore...Might our very own Kendra Wilkinsono-Baskett shimmy over to Dancing With the Stars?...Steve Carell checking out of The Office sooner than we thought!...Guess the upcoming TV pregnancy...Russell and "Boston" Rob get Survivor: Redemption Island...Patti Stanger doesn't give a flying fig if past clients have a problem with Millionaire Matchmaker's editing, and NBCU is right behind her...Marcel of Top Chef: All Stars insists he's not "that guy" (and good riddance, Jamie)...Here's what Joan Collins thinks about a Dynasty film...Quite the Toddlers and Tiaras tantrum...Chaz Bono gets a reality show on Oprah's new network...Maksim Chmerkovskiy is Ukraine's next Bæchelør...SPOILER ALERT!
SCREENPLAY: The Social Network named Best Picture at the star-studded Critics Choice Movie Awards...BAFTA nominees...DGA Award noms...The Kids Are All Right is up for a NAACP Image Award...Has Taylor Lautner gotten the biggest Twilight bump?...Ashton Kutcher talks sex scenes with Natalie Portman...Colin Firth gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...Mmm, check out Andrew Garfield in his Spider-Man gear...And here's Chris Evans as Captain America...Bonus Buried DVD footage...Jennifer Love Hewitt going to work for her boyfriend...The Dark Knight Rises still needs a leading lady...Bond 23 is on, and Daniel Craig is coming with it...Here's a better idea of what Rooney Mara will look like as Lisbeth Salander...Miley Cyrus might make an even bigger Bang...The Hobbit rounds out its misshapen cast.
MUSICAL NOTES: Britney Spears new single, "Hold It Against Me," drops, and someone immediately holds it against her...Jay-Z and Kanye West "H.A.M." it up...A.J. McLean heads back to rehab to freshen up before Backstreet-NKOTB tour...Tom Hanks' son Chet is rapping at Northwestern...Aretha Franklin calls her health "superb"...Deborah Gibson has some hard-won advice for Justin Bieber...Bieber needed a doctor's care for an allergic reaction...Etta James' husband says her health has declined.
FIRST AID: Michael Douglas is confident he's beaten cancer...Doctors had to amputate part of Zsa Zsa Gabor's right leg after all to combat infection...He was too late for first aid, but Peter Fonda called 911 when he spied a dead body while driving...Mila Kunis discusses her past brush with blindness.
LAW & ORDER: Conrad Murray's medical license suspended in California as he prepares to go on trial for manslaughter in Michael Jackson's death...NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor admits to enough wrongdoing to get registered as a sex offender, but avoid jail...Lindsay Lohan still being investigated by the Riverside County D.A.'s Office...Edward Furlong arrested for coming too close to his estranged wife...Former Beso partner objects to Eva Longoria's business practices...Big Brother 9's Matthew McDonald cops to pill-pushing scheme.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT: Gwen Stefani the latest face of L'Oreal Paris...Here's Rumer Willis posing for Badgley Mischka...Natalie Portman preens for Miss Dior Chérie perfume...Katie Holmes suits up for Ann Taylor...Kendall Jenner is all made up for MARCC...Kim Kardashian doing a Super Bowl ad for Skechers ShapeUps.
SEEN: Zac Efron and Rumer Willis dancing the night away at Las Palmas in Hollywood...Beyoncé and Jay-Z helping Mary J. Blige blow out the candles at the diva's 40th birthday party at Skylight West in NYC...Rihanna rocking bangs at the Clippers-Heat game in L.A....Most of the Glee cast (who was missing?!) at the Fox/TCA All-Star party at Villa Soriso in Pasadena...Cory Monteith performing with his band Bonnie Dune at the Roxy Theatre in West Hollywood...Kate Middleton scandalizing British society by wearing a black coat to a wedding...A-list tots like Kingston and Zuma Rossdale, Honor Warren and Mason Disick celebrating Harlow Richie-Madden's 3rd birthday at the Tree House Social Club in Beverly Hills.