Andreas Rentz/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I was wondering if you know anything about Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg's relationship. In all their press and pictures, they are just so fond of each other it's hard not to think there's more there. I know they both have girlfriend's, but you rarely see them with them.
—Amy
Dear Friend Request Denied:
Sorry, A, that's wishful thinking on your part! Just because Andrew is part of the Brit Pack, what makes you think he's so sneaky? But really, Garfield and Jesse are bros and that's that.
Dear Ted:
With all the sexcapades that occurred on the set of Twilight, N.M. and Eclipse between castmates, were any of the hookups of the same-sex variety?
—Sally
Dear Where Have You Been?
Um, hello, Sally! Have you not met Terry Tush-Trade?
Dear Ted:
I love the Meet the Parents series and can't wait to see the new movie! Barbra Streisand is in the limelight again and I was wondering, does the reclusive superstar have her own B.V.?
—Bie
Dear Silly Streisand:
Oh, God, no. All her diva crap's right out there for the world to see!
Dear Ted:
Does Butter Pussy have any children of her own?
—Tara
Dear Vicing for Two:
No, I wouldn't say she has any of her own, biologically.
Dear Ted:
Happy New Year! My puppy and I missed your daily Bitch-Backs over the holiday, but we came up with a bunch of questions for you during that time. First, has Priscilla Desert ever met Shafterella Shoshstein? Second, does LeAnn Rimes have a Blind Vice? And third, is Wilby Whiskers old enough to legally vote?
—M+S
Dear Wham-Bam:
Let's not get greedy, I'll answer two. Yes, Priscilla and Shafterella have met (that doesn't say much, for what it's worth), and LeAnn Rimes does all her
Vicey stuff out in the open.
Dear Ted:
Would an actor who has a beard ever "cheat" on that beard with another potential beard just to get the scandalous press?
—XOXO
Dear Beard-olotics:
Sure! And often.
Dear Ted:
You can make jokes about people reading too much into Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's lack of interaction, but the fact is, to people who don't follow gossip or Twilight, it really does look like these two just don't like each other. I can't count how many comments I've seen or heard from people who just assume they're not together based on how repulsed she seems by him during these public appearances. I really don't see how these silly games do either of them any good.
—Janelle
Dear More Than Costars:
See, then those people who don't follow Twilight gossip don't read into every little Robsten interaction. They go off what we tell ‘em, and what we're saying is Rob and Kristen are together!
Dear Ted:
I feel kind of sorry for Jake Gyllenhaal. It seems that no matter what he does from here on in it will somehow always be tied to his relationship with Reese Witherspoon. That is one very shrewd woman...whom I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Do you think he has learned his lesson and will start dating less famous women, or would that defeat the whole purpose of being in a relationship to being with him?
—Amanda F., NYC
Dear Clean Break:
Jake knew what he was getting into with Reese, just not how it was going to end. I greatly think that will dictate how he goes from here. I would hope he would follow his heart, not what people are telling him (whether that's a famous significant other or not).
Dear Ted:
Is Jackie Bouffant still doing drugs? I'm noticing some coke bloat.
—Fairy dust
Dear Cocky:
Assuming you're right on your guess (which I don't think you are 'cause Jackie looks good to me), I would say he dabbles here and there occasionally.
Dear Ted:
I feel like you missed a larger point in the James Franco interview. Who you sleep with shouldn't define who you are. Sexuality is very fluid, with many people not fitting directly into any label, yet so many don't enjoy their sexuality because you are so quickly labeled for doing so. I'd love to see society move past the point where we feel the need to put everyone in a neat little box, but until we (as a society) can accept "alternative" lifestyles are another norm, we won't be able to get over the taboo of it.
—M
Dear M:
Totally agree. But the problem is, fluid or not, no one is addressing the issue. That's why I think it is so cool of J to do so. Even if he or any actor were to come out and say, "Hey, I've dabbled here and there, but I wouldn't say I'm gay or straight," that would be a huge step in the right direction! Right now, too many stars are staying silent and living a charade. And no, I'm not saying that is James.
Dear Ted:
I know you're a fan of Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, but what about Sandra and that other smoking hot Canadian Ryan...Ryan Gosling? I know they had a past relationship. Is there any chance of a reunion?
—L
Dear Matchmaker:
I'm a bigger fan for Sandy and Reynolds, because I've seen their chemistry, it's undeniable! But I will admit Bullock and Gosling, round two, would be pretty friggin' hot. But in the meantime, I say Gosling should be with Michelle Williams.
Dear Ted:
What has Sheila Slurp-Never been up to lately?
–KJ
Dear Oldie:
She's settling down like a good prude should do!