Happy New Year!
It turns out that plenty of couples out there haven't been discouraged by the recent string of breakups. Just when we were ready to turn the page on Hollywood romance in 2010, multiple hands were asked for in marriage and our Zales stock went way up.
So, in addition to the usual delights and offenses, we are pleased to be bringing you multiple tales of romance, love and procreation from the past week.
PAS DE DEUX: Natalie Portman looks quite fetching—and delusional!—in black, but she may prefer to wear white when she ties the knot with Black Swan choreographer Benjamin Millepied. Her months-long relationship with the French ballet dancer blossomed into an engagement and a bun in the oven, which is far better than sprouting wings!
KEEP ON TRUCKIN': Stud of studs Hugh Hefner has no intention of being put out to pasture. Instead, the 84-year-old Playboy founder is planning to make an honest woman of personal playmate Crystal Harris, 24. So far, the details are right out of a May-December fairytale: the ring was tucked inside a Little Mermaid music box, Bridget Marquardt sent cupcakes and Santa's elves are working on the prenup.
NOW YOU TELL US: A month late, perhaps, but the unpregnant LeAnn Rimes has confirmed that she's engaged to Eddie Cibrian, subtly flashing her 5-carat diamond for the cameras so that we wouldn't think she was just crying wolf.
Anger Management Six-figure-earning Teen Mom Amber Portwood was locked up overnight after being charged with felony battery and negligence. And even though Gary Shirley is the alleged victim here, he still doesn't mind if Amber drops by now that she's free.
TIP-TOP: Is Castle your very favorite of 2010? Or Supernatural?! Vote now!
HIS & HERS: So, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter sleep in separate beds in separate houses that are right next to each other. So what?! Couldn't you tell just by looking at them they're kinda weird and perfect for each other?
BABY TALK: Elton John and David Furnish became dads of a son born via surrogate and Neil Patrick Harris is looking forward setting up rich-people play dates for his twins with the Rocket Boy...Alanis Morissette and hubby Mario Treadway welcomed son Ever Imre. We're sure she'll make a really excellent mother...Kim Kardashian elated by newphew Mason's use of the word "Kim"...
LAST WORDS WE THOUGHT WE'D EVER WRITE: ALF N-bomb scandal.
FEUDAL TIMES: Rupert Everett, he of the many opinions and apparently no recollection of The Next Best Thing, blind-sided perfume-pusher Jennifer Aniston and paid Colin Firth a backhanded compliment in a BBC interview. But it's cool, Jen knows who her friends are...Chris Brown took off after Raz B on Twitter after the B2K singer mused "aloud" about how Brown could do what he did to Rihanna. Both later apologized for engaging in a potty-mouthed sandbox scuffle instead of a mature conversation...Michael Jackson's estate slams Discovery Channel for upcoming autopsy special...Kelly Osbourne had a case of the ex and a case of the Mondays, apparently.
PENALTY: Brett Favre fined $50,000 by the NFL for being uncooperative with the investigation into allegations he sent a Jets employee lewd texts, but was otherwise let off the hook. Maybe if NFL investigators wanted his attention, they should have sent him pictures of their grid irons.
NEW YEAR COUNTDOWN: Lindsay Lohan is allowed to leave rehab on Monday, after which she will work on expanding her fashion empire and presumably continue to hate the idea of Lydia Hearst Shaw making a movie about her life. But as it turns out, there's one less thing to worry about!
FAREWELL: "Ivory Queen of Soul" Teena Marie, 54, R&B hitmaker, hip-hop visionary and Rick James' onetime "Lovergirl"...Isabelle Caro, 28, French model and actress who posed for shocking "No Anorexia" campaign in 2007 to bring awareness to the seriousness of the disorder...Grant McCune, 67, created R2-D2 as part of George Lucas' Oscar-winning visual effects team...Aron Abrams, 50, writer-producer on Everybody Hates Chris, King of the Hill and other sitcoms...Who will we miss the most?
LAW & ORDER: Nicole Richie excused from probation a few months early for exceedingly (re)productive behavior...Rock of Love castoff Brittanya O'Campo sentenced to six months in jail for "pimp cup" assault.
PARTY FOUL: Snooki and the rest of the MTV gang denied prime Times Square real estate on New Year's Eve, relegating them to broadcast the ball drop from their studio.
COVERAGE: Robert Pattinson gets serious for Italian Vanity Fair.
SCREENPLAY: The Empire Strikes Back and Saturday Night Fever among latest crops of films added to the Library of Congress' National Film Registry...Stuntman hospitalized after accident on the set of Hangover 2.
TRAILER PARK: Natalie Portman goes through some stuff in The Other Woman.
MUSICAL NOTES: Kanye West helping Kim Kardashian with the video for her first single.
SEEN: Demi Lovato, of all people, catching a flick in Chicago!......Jennie Garth, Peter Facinelli and their three kids having fun at Disneyland...Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and the brood visiting Namibia, where Shiloh was born...Supposedly not together Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig walking in the winter wonderland of Dorset, England...Miley Cyrus decking the halls in Nashville with uncontroversial substances...Here's what some of your fave stars did last night.