Please tell me Cher is getting nominated for a Golden Globe tomorrow. I'm a huge fan, and she deserves huge praise for Burlesque.
—Idiota, via the inbox
Sure, sure. She might get nominated. Actually, yeah, she might. And before you start laughing so hard you drop your laptop (or BlackBerry, or iPad, or hacked-iPod-turned-watch-turned-iPad), hear me out.
The Globes have made far stranger things happen:
Because every year, the Globes people pull something like this on us. Sure, the Hollywood Foreign Press always nominates a whole bunch of predictable, ever-so-important films about child murder and the Holocaust and family dysfunction.
But the organization also, without fail, loves to throw in at least one nominee that makes little to no sense.
There was Hairspray in '08, for example—the same year that John C. Reilly was nominated for his role in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. The following season, we were treated to a nomination for Mamma Mia.
Maybe the HFPA has some cray-cray voting member who lives in the walls, chomping lithium and killing rats with her teeth and insisting that Will Ferrell was just ay-mazing in Stranger Than Fiction.
I have no other explanation.
But I do have some predictions for who might fall into that category tomorrow, when the Globes people announce their nominees. Of course we can expect Black Swan to rack up nominations, along with The Social Network and The King's Speech and Inception and maybe even That Anne Hathaway Movie that Nobody Saw.
We can also expect some comedy nominations for people like Russell Brand and even Diddy for Get Him to the Greek. They were good in that movie. Those kinds of nominations don't count as surprises.
But Cher in Burlesque?
She was in that movie for about four seconds, and it wasn't a great movie, so yes, that would be a shocker.
Other possible contenders for the oddball nomination:
Shutter Island. It was terrible. But it was so bad it was good. And it had Leo in it, and it was directed by Scorsese. A few people in the HFPA might feel intimidated by all that clout and translate their fears into a nomination. And speaking of So Bad It's Good...
For Colored Girls. It was gut-wrenching, and not in a good way. But it was chock-full-o'-gravitas. And nearly every single cast member had to cry on cue while reciting poetry. At least on HFPA member might mistake all that for quality producing or direction and think that Tyler Perry needs a nod.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. Why would this be a surprise? Because Conventional Wisdom says that you wait until the finale to give out awards for franchises like this. But the sentimentality might strike early this year. You never know.
So who or what have I missed? Be sure to tell me in the comments section below.