London, we have a problem.
A big, throbbing, angry mob of a problem, which may very well have repercussions all the way to April 29, 2011.
As you've probably heard (or seen) by now, last night while en route to a charity event in central London, a Rolls Royce carrying Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles drove through a throng of student protesters. Neither party anticipated the appearance of the other, and the demonstrators—protesting against the government's decision to triple college tuition fees across the country in the wake of their own budget crisis—proceeded to attack the car, pelting it with paint, shattering a window, and shaking its passengers to their core.
At one point, the mob even went old school (like, revolutionary-era old school) on the royals, shouting "off with their heads!"
The couple wasn't hurt, but was visibly rattled—gone were the vestiges of any stiff upper lips—and after safely making it to their destination, were administered some brandy (true story) and went about their business, which in this case meant rubbing elbows with the likes of Kylie Minogue.
Incidentally, for their return trip, they wisely traded in the Rolls for an armored police van.
Cut to this morning, and the British media and public, which has a hairpin trigger for hysteria at the best of times, is in full vigilante mode.
And for good reason.
The attack has raised concerns from virtually all corners of the country over the efficacy of the security team surrounding the royals, and what with the Most Important Wedding of Our Generation just months away, has suddenly become that much more vital.
Prime Minister David Cameron called the incident "shocking" and said the protesters responsible for the violence will "feel the full force of the law." He blamed their unruliness, not the police, for the encounter getting out of hand.
Fingers, meanwhile, are pointing fast and furious, with some placing blame for the incident on the royals' choice of vehicle, saying that Prince Charles' armored Bentley would have been a much better choice than the hard-to-maneuver Rolls.
Metropolitan Police Commissioner Paul Stephenson, too, has spoken out against the attack, calling it "a thoroughly disgraceful incident," and pledged that there would be "a very full and detailed criminal inquiry into how that attack happened."
However, while most of the criticism has been leveled at the royal security team, asking why they allowed protestors to get that close to the Prince and Duchess, Stephenson says the entire incident should actually be celebrated as an exercise in restraint, seeing as how no one got shot.
Incidentally, the same branch of the royal security team tasked with protecting the couple last night—the Special Escort Group—is also the same group that will be responsible for the security surrounding the wedding festivities at Westminster Abbey this spring. Which means, yes, last night's incident will no doubt have a significant impact on the forthcoming nuptials.
Officials have already pledged a review of the current protocol and security measures will no doubt be amped up for the royal wedding this spring.
But there is a glimmer of good news out of this mess: while the fashion crowd may be salivating over the prospect of ripping apart Kate Middleton's wedding attire, the queen-to-be clearly won't have to deal with such elevated expectations from Scotland Yard.
Apparently, all it takes for them to consider an event a success is the lack of a body count.